Roulette Is Awesome, how to get rich gambling, soccer, unsilent majority

Newcastle Owner Now Slightly Richer

Newcastle have been on quite a run as of late, and Mike Ashley is taking full advantage. The club's billionaire owner recently strolled into his local casino (note to self: move to England) and had a seat at the roulette wheel, the greatest table game of them all. Ashley decided to make the boldest bet of all, known as a "complete", on his favorite number, 17. For those unfamiliar this bet entails placing a maximum wager on the number itself, each of the four corners, as well as the splits on every number touching the centermost betting square. He then proceeded to plop chips down on black, odd, and first 18 for a total bet of £480,000 ($945,984). Guess what happened...

Divorcee Mr Ashley watched impassively as the roulette wheel turned. As the ball dropped into slot 17, the expectant crowd broke out into loud applause. Mr Ashley calmly looked up at the croupier and said: "That'll do me, thanks very much," and walked off with his winnings. He had spent just 15 minutes at the table.

He won nearly £1.3 million ($2.5 million)

Sorry Moses, I have a new hero now.

Daily Mail via Unprofessional Foul

2:15 PM on Sun May 4 2008
By Unsilent Majority
13,640 views
46 comments

Comments

sassydeerrun at 02:24 PM on 05/04/08
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Did Wesley Snipes tell him to always bet on black?
Mr. Pennsylvania at 02:25 PM on 05/04/08
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He should have doubled down...wait
Fugees-and-Funyuns at 02:26 PM on 05/04/08
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Would've been better if he willed the ball into slot 17 with a super high pitched scream like Lola in Run Lola Run. That's what I do.

/no longer welcome in Atlantic City
Len Bias Cocaine Surplus at 02:29 PM on 05/04/08
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Connectedness Index: 434

Marvin Williams with the Rock Bottom.
Unsilent Majority at 02:31 PM on 05/04/08
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That was awesome
$Image of Brazil Thrill\'s Shot Was Blocked By KG$ Brazil Thrill's Shot... at 02:32 PM on 05/04/08
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@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: Yeah, that was unnecessary. I agree with the flagrant two, but would like to see Starvin' Marvin' perform that move against The Rock.
She Blinded Me With... at 02:32 PM on 05/04/08
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Guess he'd seen enough.
businessorleisure at 02:33 PM on 05/04/08
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@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: Marvin? Marvin? You were a friend of mine. You stood for something.
$Image of Brazil Thrill\'s Shot Was Blocked By KG$ Brazil Thrill's Shot... at 02:34 PM on 05/04/08
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@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: Marvin is not Bowen though, so I don't think it was his intention to decapitate anybody. It was just a hard foul performed very poorly.
the-Bored at 02:39 PM on 05/04/08
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Petey, Petey, it's Marvin! Your cousin, Marvin Williams! You know that new move you've been looking for? Look at this!
Len Bias Cocaine Surplus at 02:41 PM on 05/04/08
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@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: As Van Gundy said "that's the danger you take when you clothesline someone""
Len Bias Cocaine Surplus at 02:41 PM on 05/04/08
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@the-Bored: +Canadian Destroyer
Convict78 at 02:43 PM on 05/04/08
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I like how they repeatedly talked about him being a wonderful human being. Like that makes Rondo's back hurt less.
being_sven at 02:44 PM on 05/04/08
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Good news for Barcode fans -- more money to piss away on crap transfers!
Phatty at 02:44 PM on 05/04/08
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the roulette wheel, the greatest table game of them all

um, wrong.
$Image of Brazil Thrill\'s Shot Was Blocked By KG$ Brazil Thrill's Shot... at 02:46 PM on 05/04/08
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@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: With the way he put Rondo in a headlock, I expected him to start punching him in the face mid-air.
Len Bias Cocaine Surplus at 02:47 PM on 05/04/08
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@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: but he's a good person
Juancho at 02:53 PM on 05/04/08
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Ok Atlanta, this is just embarrassing.
44 in a Row at 02:57 PM on 05/04/08
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Plenty of game left, guys. Plenty of game left.
Len Bias Cocaine Surplus at 02:58 PM on 05/04/08
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The Rock N Jock 50 point basket gets lowered now right?
UkraineNotWeak at 03:01 PM on 05/04/08
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Atlanta should just turn off the lights and sneak out the back.
She Blinded Me With... at 03:01 PM on 05/04/08
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@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: This would not be happening if you hadn't changed your avatar.
$Image of Brazil Thrill\'s Shot Was Blocked By KG$ Brazil Thrill's Shot... at 03:01 PM on 05/04/08
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@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: Unless you completely throw out everything else he's done to this point and irrationally decide whether or not he is a good person based on one play then yes, he is a good person.

@44 in a Row: 12 treys and 12 defensive stops and we're right back in this thing.
$Image of Brazil Thrill\'s Shot Was Blocked By KG$ Brazil Thrill's Shot... at 03:04 PM on 05/04/08
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@She Blinded Me With Violence: Dammit! That's just turrble timing by me, it's turrble!
Baudolino at 03:06 PM on 05/04/08
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@Phatty: Exactly. Everyone knows it's War.
Len Bias Cocaine Surplus at 03:07 PM on 05/04/08
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@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: I'm sure he is. I don't know the guy. I'm just making note of how often they want to note that fact
Juancho at 03:09 PM on 05/04/08
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@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: Calm down, son, you're swallowing vowels!

@Baudolino: Pai-gow?
$Image of Brazil Thrill\'s Shot Was Blocked By KG$ Brazil Thrill's Shot... at 03:13 PM on 05/04/08
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Jesus, I'll be happy if Atlanta finishes this one with more than half the point total of the Celtics.

@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: Gotcha. I apologize for the semi-testiness then.
Baudolino at 03:17 PM on 05/04/08
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@Juancho: Jesus Pai-Gow. I went on a massive Pai-Gow Poker bender last week in Vegas. It's the best game out there to play forever and not lose, and get regular free drink service.
Len Bias Cocaine Surplus at 03:19 PM on 05/04/08
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@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: If its any consolation you guys made me testy for a good week there
$Image of Brazil Thrill\'s Shot Was Blocked By KG$ Brazil Thrill's Shot... at 03:44 PM on 05/04/08
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@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: I hear you. I wonder if a close series like this benefits an older team like the Celtics, or if they could have used the rest before facing the human bowling ball otherwise known as King James.
12 Inches of JT Snow at 05:22 PM on 05/04/08
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shouldn't he have won way more than that? he put down that much money, and it was all at least partially on his number and he only got 3-to-1? isn't it like 32 or 35 to 1 if your number hits straight up? something is afoot
AkAggie at 05:26 PM on 05/04/08
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The math is all wrong if he hit... don't the numbers pay 35 to 1? That would have put him at 1.5 million pounds just hitting 17.
AkAggie at 05:26 PM on 05/04/08
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damn you big dongered Snow
JB* at 06:02 PM on 05/04/08
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Lesson: Look out, Chelsea!
BizTake at 06:25 PM on 05/04/08
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Toon ARMY!
Man ure should start chillin' their bubbly right about now.
There's only one Kevin Kegan...
spinachdip at 07:11 PM on 05/04/08
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gamb-ling?

Also, Maybe probably maybe probably yes yes yes no yes no yes.
being_sven at 09:23 PM on 05/04/08
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@BizTake: Who's Kevin Kegan?

Methinks that's the sort of mistake that gets you an unhonorable discharge from said Toon Army.
Adonis at 09:33 PM on 05/04/08
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Hasn't anyone see Croupier? This is how they launder money... nefarious types get "loans" from reputable businesmen, and then pay them back with gambling "winnings"

As far as the winnings, he clearly bet a lot things, corners, splits, etc. So apparently when added up it's just 3-1 odds... although I agree, still seems light.
insomniac at 10:39 PM on 05/04/08
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click the link and you'll get the complete breakdown. The house limit on a single number was only 2,000 pounds, which paid out at 35-1 for 70,000. His largest wagers were 100,000 pound bets on black, odd, and 1-18, all of which paid at even money.

Still, not a bad payday on one spin of the wheel
Prada James at 10:45 PM on 05/04/08
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So does this mean NUFC is going to get Thierry Henry this summer? Or Deco? Please?
Contemptster at 10:54 PM on 05/04/08
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He's used to rooting for numbers (teams) that are positioned in the middle of the pack.
DunkHawk at 11:13 PM on 05/04/08
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Memo to Mr. Ashley...we need some defenders.
Prada James at 12:22 AM on 05/05/08
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@DunkHawk: They've got some decent defenders, theyve been playing quite well...they just need either some creativity in the midfield. ASBO as their #7 just isnt going to cut it.
Prada James at 12:23 AM on 05/05/08
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never mind the either.
BizTake at 06:25 PM on 05/05/08
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Keegan. Thanks for being the official Deadspin fact and spell checker. We can all sleep better tonight.
@being_sven: