Deadspin
So I'm perusing the Giants schedule on their MLB site and look what I see on May 22. Apparently we're all going to the movies! I expect to see ads on the periphery of my baseball schedule, but within the schedule itself? It's just one small step from that to Doritos ads on players' uniforms. (They're already doing that with Zito; they have to make back that money somehow). Apparently this Indiana Jones ad is appearing on every schedule in the majors. What the fungus is going on?
The ad, is turns out, is for something called the Indiana Jones Legend Sweepstakes, which is not linked to the schedule pictures themselves. I didn't discover the site until typing "MLB," "Indiana Jones" and "money-grubbing whores" into a search engine. They make some tenuous tie-in between "baseball's living legends" and the new movie Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. As I understand it, you go to the site and sign up with all of your personal bank information to possibly win two tickets to see Baby Mama somewhere in Mexico. So there you have it: Movie ads in your baseball schedules. Has a man no refuge at all?
Oh well. It must be a relief for Jamie Moyer to look at the schedule and see someone older than himself.
• Could This Be The End For The Rays? I knew that this was a disturbing omen. Once terrifying and deadly, the scourge of the sea, it seems that the rays have just given up. Scott Kazmir returned for the Tampa Bay, but was cuffed around by the Red Sox on Sunday, exiting in the fourth inning of Boston's 7-3 win. Kevin Youkilis had four RBI for the winners. It completed a three-game sweep for the Stockings, who were swept by the Rays in their previous series.
• Jason Isringhausen Is Haunted By Your Derision. Jason Isringhausen was booed back to the stone age on Friday when he gave up a game-tying two-run, ninth-inning homer to the Cubs' Alfonso Soriano (The Cardinals went on to win, 5-3 in 11 innings). But on Sunday the closer dispatched the top of the Cubs' order in the ninth, the Cards winning 5-3. Albert Pujols had a two-run double in the fourth as first-place St. Louis moved 1 1/2 games ahead of the Cubs in the Central.
• An Angel On His Shoulder. Who has Joe Saunders on their fantasy team? Anyone? Despite giving up 12 hits, the Angels' left-hander improved to 6-0 after a 6-5 win over the Orioles. Gary Matthews Jr. and Torii Hunter homered in the first.
• It's Pat! Philadelphia kept pace a half-game ahead of the second-place Mets in the East as Pat Burrell had two doubles and two RBI to lead a 6-5 win over the Giants. It was Charlie Manuel's 500th career victory, which I celebrated with a Ding Dong with a candle in it.
Comments
Nice of us here at Deadspin to point fingers while sipping on a cold Coors Light, right?
"Who has Joe Saunders on their fantasy team? Anyone?"
/raises hand
MLB is just preparing you for the next sequel: Indiana Jones and Bonds Gigantic Skull.
Who has Joe Saunders on their fantasy team? Anyone?
Is this an open forum to discuss my roto team? I have a lot of questions and clever commentary, and Matthew Berry won't return my phone calls.
The Atlanta Braves - the best .500 team in baseball.
7th in MLB in runs scored, least runs allowed in MLB, and a Pythagorean record of 19-11.
Larry Wayne Jones for MVP!
if the Phillies were at home i'm sure they would've been giving out Phedoras that day.
"Ding-dongs" has migrated from Walkoff Walk to Deadspin? IS NOTHING SACRED?!
If you're wondering why your tongue is on fire, it's because you're supposed to remove the candle before eating the Ding Dong.
At least the sport Closer to my heart, basketball, doesn't bombard the audience with incessant advertisements. This is our Saving Grace. Seeing as I'm the Ironman of NBA-watching, watching the degradation of the game that is near and dear to me would cause me to be in a House Of Payne. It wouldn't be very funny at all.
I hate Diamondbacks. I hate 'em!
It was Charlie Manuel's 500th career victory, which I celebrated with a Ding Dong with a candle in it.
We all know Manuel is a Ho-Ho guy.
Big deal. The NHL's online schedule this year had a promotional tie-in with Daredevil: The Director's Cut's release on DVD.
Do you think Jamie Moyer really has to look at the schedule on MLB.com? Please. That's what his handy refrigerator magnet, sponsored by Herr's, is for.
The Cubs are the only team not using the Indiana Jones picture. They're using Short-round. Horry Cow!!
@Brazil Thrill's Shot Was Blocked By KG: Frank Caliendo agrees.
@ArkansasFred: Moyer's near the age where he's only reading the WC Heinz version of the schedule
/beaten to death
DorZito's?
The Yankees require you to pay $50 upfront in order to look at their online calendar. $75 if you want actual game times on that calendar.
@Clare: Rick is free to borrow our dingdongs whenever he wants.
Indy on schedule > Spiderman on bases
@SteveJeltzFan: /triple lindys into Chase Field pool
@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies:
Moyer's is reaching the age where he's restricted to only pitching during the day.
@UkraineNotWeak: And while looking at the calendar, you have to check any bags you might have at a bowling alley down the block.
Wait until you see the NFL tie-ins with Indiana Jones. Feels weird rooting for the St. Louis Mola Rams.
@Afino: That means nothing if your starters can't stay on the mound
/Trying to stand "big and tall" so you won't see Pedro and El Duque gimping around behind me
@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: You read the schedules? Did you read any of his newspaper columns?
@ArkansasFred: schedules aren't allowed in the home that the Phils put Moyer in, they anger up the blood
I was under the impression the every baseball fan looks at pocket schedules and pocket schedules only.
But, advertisements on the internet!? I'm appalled.
@UkraineNotWeak: Moyer's is reaching the age where he's restricted to only pitching before bingo starts at the retirement home.
/cliche old-age joke fix
@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: Cincinnati's schedule features Colonel Dietrich.
@kayceebk: Or if your bullpen is a human sieve.
Whereas the Mets' pen is more like a Ziploc bag--can keep stuff from leaking, unless Willie forgets how to line up the yellow and blue stripes properly.
@kayceebk:
Hudson did a pretty good job of that Friday.
/just sayin'
@SteveJeltzFan: Anybody spot McCain on SNY during Sunday's game playing up a NY-Diamondback "rivalry"?
At least he didn't confuse the Mets with Iran.
Arroyo looks like he's completely lost it. Good thing he's got that music career to fall back on
"Yo, Ding-Dong, man! Ding-Dong, Ding-Dong, yo!"
+ Watch video
The Twins have swept the ChiSox and Tigers to win their last 5 in a row and take first in the AL Central, all while only hitting 3 more HR as a team than Chase Utley has by himself.
'It was Charlie Manuel's 500th career victory, which I celebrated with a Ding Dong with a candle in it."
what you do with your ding dong after hours is not my business
@RonZookonRedBull: #1. They're bound to rip your heart out as well.
@Afino: He's been weirdly up and down, though, hasn't he? Looked terrible against the Mets that weekend at Shea. I wonder if he isn't secretly injured.
If Smoltz moves to the bullpen, that should help the Braves out a lot. Except, who takes that spot in the rotation?
But it was nice to see Glavine get a 7-run lead and still not be able to get through 5 innings. That brought back some nice memories.
That wasn't a DingDong, it was a Tastykake!
@formerly Chief Wahoo: I'm looking for hits. I have not seen any lately. Have you?
@shea_guevara:
Weird thing is, I told my friend as we were watching: "Glavine's staked to a 7-0 lead, I'm glad he's not on the '07 Mets anymore..."
Yeah, that didn't work out well.
The Braves TV guys blamed Hudson's weird up and down spell on some flu bug that was going around. Except it's hard to have the flu for three weeks....
I don't trust Reyes or Chuck James (bitch) anywhere near the rotation. Although in 2-3 weeks, when the Braves may have Soriano, Mike Gonzalez, and Smoltz all back at the same time, the Braves may have the best pen in the NL. They're going to need it...
@Afino: I'm glad I'm not the only one who has to say "bitch" every time he hears the name Chuck James.
Nope, no hits in here.
@shea_guevara: I think he was trying to fit in a Hillary reference on the low. And our pen would be less of a Ziploc if the Met starters could get through 7 a little more often.
/Yes, I'm looking at you, Johan
@Balls State Explorer: No RingDings?
It might appear that the AL Central teams are mired in collective mediocrity, but actually they're all so equally great that no single squadron can assert extended dominance during divisional play. By contrast, the postseason should be a breeze!
/delusional Royals fan
@garbageday: Dude, I'm glad to have a Royals fan in here. I didn't know if there were any of you left!
@ArkansasFred: Do you think Jamie Moyer really has to look at the schedule on MLB.com? Please. That's what his hand