Bigger Douche: Clemens or Bonds?

Discuss.

Dude, dude.

Did he apologize for that photo?

15 year old? She's at least 28 by now.

Now there's a flat-top you can set your watch to!

the mother of all MILFs...next to Demi Moore.

Sorry, is this Jezebel? never mind.

i hate to threadjack a post like this which will surely get great comments, but, uh, has anyone read scoop jackson's article on page2 today? it's one of the dumbest things i've ever read.

I hope the wife still has that bat in the house.

...ALLEGEDLY
/jim rome

Which one has more HGH coursing through their veins in that picture?

Is that a still from the Parks production of Beast and the Beast?

Aluminum bats too? You're right. The man's a monster.

"Sorry I didn't let A-Rod sleep with my wife while I was doing this. He would have enjoyed her."

Clemens Apology for That Which Shall Go Unnamed vs. Giambi Apology for That Which Shall Go Unamed.

Discuss.

I got an inkling of what his wife wants to do with that bat now.

I'm sorry I marred the dignity and prestige of the Derby by having to be put down right on the track. I'm such a bitch. --Eight Belles

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry:

yes

So, has anyone read The Big Lead's interview with Buzz yet?

@shea_guevara: No, but A-Rod just popped a boner.

@SuperFrankieLampard: Dumb for a Scoop Jackson column is a pretty high bar to cross.

Don't ever change, Raj.

What's Roger Clemens favorite TV show?

Pork'n Mindy?

@SuperFrankieLampard: That's like saying "Smell this milk. I think it's sour."

That picture is like the Grazer-head of Deadspin.

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: Roger Clemens - great douche or greatest douche?

[N]ow, I have been accused of having an improper relationship with a 15-year-old girl. Nothing could be further from the truth.

So...she was 16 when Clemens first fucked her? Well, that makes all the difference in the world.

I wouldn't fuck Mindy McCready with Debbie Clemens' dick.

Like everyone, I have flaws.

Speak for yourself, Seabass.

@Scout: You call it a bat, Clemens calls it a posterior massager. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

Even A-Rod thinks she's JUST a bit manly.

Rogers Clemens is married to Nicole Bass?

@SA: In Iowa that's legal

Congressman: Are you a vegan Mr Clemens?

Clemens: No, I don't watch Star Trek. AND I don't like 15 year old girls either...if that was your next question.

She must use the "7 Minute Abs" workout routine.

those weeds in the background were just seeds 5 minutes ago.

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: I ain't paid nearly enough to ponder that question for more than five seconds.

@cowbell204: And apparently like 30 other states

@My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZ...: For 19.99/month and high speed internet access, you can watch Romanian chicks doing just that...

Clemens has the smile of a man who just committed adultery, followed by some needle being stuck in his ass.

BREAKING NEWS: New York Daily News reporting that Roger Clemens has been fucking his wife intermittently for the last two decades. Clemens denies the report, calling it a "Baseless, disgusting lie."

@cowbell204: I was just about to say I think it's legal in SC too.

I know for a fact there are two brother/uncle's that he has not apologized to.

the timeless art of seduktion...

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: They're both runners up to David Blane for biggest douche in the universe.

But I'd have to say Clemens narrowly edges Bonds in my book.

@EditorOfTheDailyFaberian: i know, but trust me, this article is beyond ridiculous.

"uuuhh, I'm dsylexic - I thought she was 51."

there were some terrible personal mistakes i made in my life. for instance, one time, i accidentally watched nickelodeon, alone, for about 30-45 minutes with the door shut and a cowbell nailed to it so i would know when someone is coming in, before i realized that it was a children's channel and not for famous baseball players who after 23 years of public service should have earned the benefit of the doubt. i've since apologized to my parents and "kids incorporated", even though this is none of your goddamn business.

As I stated on an earlier post, Clemens is two steps away from turning his life over to Jesus.

Central Park muggings ain't what they used to be.

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: They are two sides of the same douche; throw in Palmeiro and they are the holy trinity of baseball douchebags.

Howie Long would like his haircut back...unless you buy a new Chevy truck.

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: Does that make Jose Canseco baseball's John the Baptist?

@VidaBlueBalls: After you help Travolta boost a couple nukes.

please put down the bat, sir.

@Sherrill-Theory: Using electronics supplies from Radio Shack.

Someday, if I work hard, I can have a fitness "competitor" stand over me while holding a bat a wearing a bikini with my name covering her tits.

If I work hard...

I thought the caveman was supposed to bash the cavegirl in the head with the club, not the other way around.

Debbie Clemens...yes.

Seriously, can someone please explain why he chose to cheat on that? I guess it's true...he's as dumb as a box of rocks.

Clemens? Still?

Meh.

Oh, well, since he put it that way.

I can't remember who said it, but he said "His nickname is Rocket Man, not Rocket Scientist."

Behind every hot wife there is a husband thats tired of fucking her.

"High school girls... every year I get older... they stay the same age." - another sexan texan