Deadspin
Perhaps it's appropriate that Ozzie Guillen would unleash one of his patented expletive-filled tirades on Chicago fans, the Cubs, and media outlets just a few short days removed from the 25th anniversary of Lee Elia's epic f-bomb ranting. Maybe it was an homage. But more likely it was just Ozzie Guillien being his usual colorful self.
Here is the tirade, which had been appropriately [Bleep]-d by newspapers in the transcript. I don't know why newspapers and "family" publications continue to do that even though we know, for the most part, what the actual quote is. I've done my best to replace the [Bleep]-s with what what I assume was the offensive language Guillen actually used to give some more color and accuracy to this story:
Right now, everyone in Chicago is making lineups, 'Call up this guy, call up that guy. If we had 50 people allowed on the roster, we could do that. That's what ticks me off about Chicago fans and Chicago media — they forget pretty quick. A couple of days ago, we were the [cunt]ing best [veiny dicks] in town, now we're [taint fuckers].''Asked why that is, Guillen pulled no punches.
''Because maybe the manager is an ass[licking ball-nibbler],'' he replied.
'We won it a couple years ago, and we're horse[spooge],'' Guillen said. ''The Cubs haven't won in 120 years, and they're the [cunnilinguiling]ing best. [Finger-bang] it, we're good. [Finger-bang] everybody. We're horse[spooge-swallowers], and we're going to be horse[spooge-swallowers] the rest of our lives, no matter how many World Series we win. We are the bitch of Chicago. We're the Chicago bitch. We have the worst owner — the guy's got seven [nut-tickle]ing rings, and he's the [midget-fuck]ing horse[spooge-swallowing] owner.''I'm curious to see hear the audio version to see how close I was.
Ozzie Guillen on White Sox: 'We're the Chicago Bitch' [Fanhouse]
Comments
I demand that all future posts use the word "cunnilinguiling."
I may try to work it into my Sports Law paper.
Ozzie snuck in to see the new Terence and Philip movie "Asses of Fire" the day before this tirade.
Come on, Daulerio. There's NO WAY Ozzie said "ticks me off."
Now you're just making shit up.
Boo fucking hoo, Ozzie. You have a World Series title, now retire already.
OZZIE 4 PREZ!
AJ 4 SENIOR SPEECH WRITER!
Jerry Manual approves (well, he will approve once he wakes up)
Who knew AJ could actually make up something more profane than what Ozzie actually said?
/I guess we all did. Well, nevermind than.
@J-No: There's an extra actually in there. You choose which one you want to remove.
@notthequarterback: oooh, swomebody's jwealous.
Adding the horse racing references shows that Ozzie is topical.
"[midget-fuck]ing horse[spooge-swallowing]" is a term of endearment where I grew up.
Ozzie Guillen >>>>>>>>>>>>> Carlos Mencia
@7-8 Deville:
Buzz?
Ozzie would like to make it known that he never meant to offend people who actually are spooge swallowers. In Venezuela, you say that, and it's completely different than it is here. For this mistake, he apologizes to Jay Mariotti.
Ozzie's a little slow. Everyone knows the White Sox are Chicago's bitch.
I think "Chicago [bleep]" has a better chance of being "Chicago Shit" than "Chicago Bitch." Rolls off the tongue.
[quote] We're the Chicago bitch. We have the worst owner - the guy's got seven [nut-tickle]ing rings, and he's the [midget-fuck]ing horse[spooge-swallowing] owner.''[/quote]
He can have all the rings in the world, but that midget-fucking horse spooge-swallowing owner is nothing but a midget fucker and a horse spooge-swallower. He used Tampa Bay as a stalking horse to build the ugliest stadium in the free world and then tried to give Tampa my team to pay them back. He can swallow all the horse spooge on the planet as far as I'm concerned.
Whenever I hear about Guillen going on another tirade I miss Chappelle's Show. Chappelle would have made for a great Ozzie Guillen.
great job on cunnilinguiling. Also, this shouldn't be a surprise to anyone, as the sox are chicago's bitch, but that's just the natural order of things. and their owner does suck.
Lou Piniella thinks he's just a tad out of touch.
How come 'Marrioti' was not used as part of some of these adjectives?
Ozzie G can be a real horse-spooge-dumpster when he wants to be. Or, to be more topical, a dead-horse-spooge-dumpster. Any one know a website for that kind of action?
This man needs his own late-night show.
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