Deadspin
Sometime in the not-so-distant future, when all the oil and electricity is gone, global warming takes a firm hold and mankind is left to fend for itself in a feral state, I would expect scenes such as the following to occur with frequency. But not yet. For the love of God, not yet. As you might have read, on Saturday a woman plowed into a group of Red Sox fans with her car, killing one, reportedly because she was being taunted for being a Yankees' fan.
According to authorities, Ivonne Hernandez had gotten into a fight with another woman in the parking lot of a Nashua, N.H. bar. As she was leaving, the other woman and the group she was with — all Red Sox fans — noticed that Hernandez had a Yankees sticker on her car. They began taunting her, yelling "Yankees suck!," prompting Hernandez to turn her 1997 Dodge Intrepid toward the group. She accelerated and slammed into a 29-year-old man, Matthew Beaudoin, killing him.
"I want her to rot in a cold jail cell for the rest of her life and remember every day the face that hit her windshield," Faith Beaudoin, the victim's sister, said in a phone interview. "I want her to remember that she took a wonderful, kind-hearted gentleman. She has children of her own. How could she want to harm another's child?"
Hernandez, a 43-year-old mother from Nashua, was arrested at the scene. Amazingly, alcohol seems to have been involved. And here's the mug shot you've all been waiting for. Form an orderly line, fellers.
Here's a tribute to the late Red Sox fan.
Sox-Yankee Rivalry Cited In N.H. Fatality [Boston Globe]
Yankees Fans Hate Red Sox Fans [Larry Brown Sports]
Comments
Ms. Beaudoin then added "YANKEES SUCK!!!"
I DRIVE A DODGE INTREPID!!!
Have they looked into the possibility that perhaps women just can't drive?
@Weed Against Speed: stratus!
You're missing the most important angle: alcohol should not be sold in New Hampshire. Those people are insane.
Nashua. Nuff said.
This kind of thing happens in New Hampshah. The Old Man on the mountain was the only thing keeping the evil in check.
Wow.
/Phillies fan
//passes crown to Yankees Nation
Yeah, but nobody remembers when Sam O'Toole, fervent Brooklyn Bridegrooms fanatic, drove his horsecarriage into a rowdy group of Cleveland Spiders rowdies, killing six.
@Rob Iracane:, @Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!: Apparently, we all have some knowledge.
@Weed Against Speed: But is she a division manager?
Shoulda been you Buckeye fans.
Hernandez, a 43-year-old motherfucker from Nashua, was arrested at the scene.
Fixed.
Can't wait for a construction worker to try to bury Matthew Beaudoin's body under the new Yankee Stadium.
studies have found that, much like the city of cleveland and virtually all of western pennsyvania, yankees fans are genetically predisposed towards a painful and unfortunate condition known as 'aesthetically challenged'
Jesus Mindy this is no way to win Roger back.
I'd try and start a New Hampshire comedy pyramid but there's nothing funny about that state.
Looking at the mugshot I can't help but wonder how that tranny from the Ronaldo story made it over to the U.S. so quickly.
When will the NY Post break the story that Hernandez is Clemens' #4?
In the future, Sox and Yankees fans will battle to the death in the Thunderdome. The Master-Blaster combo of Simmons and Theo Epstein will work to unseat Suzyn Waldman's Aunty Entity.
@Rob Iracane: We could make fun of the name of the state.
New Humpshire? New Trampshire?
@ltwinslow: (shakes head, sadly true)
"Yankees suck, Yankees suck, ..."?? Never saw that one coming.
But on the Yankees sign it says "Mets fans go home". I can't believe they would disrespect the Sawx like that!
@Rob Iracane: Doesn't that state 69 with Vermont?
This is what happens when you start putting "Nation" at the end of your team name. Assholes.
@Rob Iracane: Sununu is a pretty comical name. Get me Mark Russell right away!
I'll wait to judge until I hear what Marty Brennamen thinks.
@ltwinslow:
"You there, with the severe aesthetic deficiencies!"
"Hey, ugly!"
As an AL West fan, I consider this a victimless crime.
This explains how the Brooklyn Dodgers came up with their name.
This is nothing, you should see how she gets when you tell her that Jeter swallows.
/Mom?
Death Race 2008
@Rob Iracane: What about New Hempshire? Get it? 'Cause that's what they smoke up there.
I'll be here all day folks.
Rangers and Celtic fans find this incident to be quaint.
@Civil Negligence:
Yeah, but we booed Santa Claus, so it kinda just evens it out.
Supermike joke in 4, 3, 2...
@Rob Iracane: Seconded.
/Vermonter
And to think, they were only trashing the Staten Island Yankees.
I'm a Southerner living in New England. Whenever I feel a little homesick, I head on up to scenic New Hampshire - where the Skoal flows, the booze is cheap, and the women? Well, they're even cheaper. *wink!*
This message brought to you by the New Hampshire Board of Tourism.
@broad street bully: I heard Paul Revere & The Raiders are re-writing the lyrics to their song "Indian Reservation (The Lament Of The Cherokee Reservation Indian)" and going with "Red Sox Nation (The Lament of the Suffolk County Sawx Fan)".
@Civil Negligence: Blew Hampshire.
@ArkansasFred: "MySununu" (sung to the tune of My Sharona) has just been written and will be performed at the Kennedy Center later today.
here's the mugshot you've all been waiting for
Holy shit -- Steven Tyler is a Yankee fan??
@Chones_Chonies:
Kinda, yeah, it does
[en.wikipedia.org]
And she shall be Ivonne
And she shall kill a Sox fan
And she shall be I-von-onne
In tradition with the Yankees plan...
/sorry
Important note: If the Sox fans hadn't been pricks, none of this would have happened.
Also: We let these people vote in the nation's first primary?
FAHKIN YANKEE QUEEAHS!! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR FAHKIN WITH SAWX FANS!!
/Tommy from Quinzee
What's not included in the post? The woman claiming it was a joke and she thought they'd jump out of the way.
I know some genuinely awesome people from the state of New Hampshire. But it's also the only state I've ever been to where I've seen bars with signs that say WELCOME BIKERS. I always thought most establishments tried to specifically avoid that kind of clientele.
Maybe she was driving one of those robot cars?
But is she an illegal alien?
/Bill O'Reilly-d
Ironically, it was two for one pizza night at the bar.
@Stev D: Goddamn it, is it PBS pledge-drive time again?
@shea_guevara: Those signs are in front of every bar in Michigan where they will remain until they are replaced with "Welcome Hunters" signs in October.
Does this woman have an alibi for the day when Stephen King was run over?
Lizzie Grubman applauds this response to taunting.
This has turned into the Civilized World's Hatfield vs. McCoys. All you need are some more revenuers and a toothless uncle, and you're set.
When will people learn that nothing good happens when you follow someone outside to finish a arguement started in a bar?
Well, we now know at least one person who doesn't.
[www.zazzle.com]
So is 'Johnny Cakes' a Sox or Yankees fan?
I would hate to see Old Hampshire.
Lizzie Grubman: huuuuge Yankees fan.
At least she will rot in prison with a smug satisfaction that the Yankees have 26 World Championships and those douche-bag Sox fans only have 7.