Deadspin
No longer will the horses stand idly by while we whip them into submission and destroy their ankles and other important pivots. The rebellion has begun. We attempted to warn you. But you arrogant human beings did not listen.
And now look what happens: The attacks have commenced.
At a heavy horse show in Hampshire, England, a horse bolted while parading and rampaged through a crowd of people, doubtlessly seeking revenge for Eight Belles' death.
Witness Alan East said: "You could see the horse didn't look happy as it was being paraded around, it was kicking out. Then it careered off round the field and suddenly crashed through a fence and it was away. People were screaming as they saw it coming."
The best part of this is that two people standing nearby had their ankles broken. In yet another cruel irony, they were not shot on the spot. But only because horses don't yet have opposable thumbs. Give them time to evolve, and it's over.
Comments
Be sure and read my book... Planet of the Horses, due out May 25th.
It's fun to replace every use of the word "horse" with "Buzz Bissinger".
Jeez, you let the lions ride them one time, and look what happens...
Run you stupid fucking dog! RUN!
That's not a horse...it's Linda Cohn
I think that it's wrong for Leitch to accuse certain horses of not really being horselike, when they refuse to conform to 'expected horse behavior..'
Oh god, oh god no! My blog! The black balls are coming for my blog! I'm being black balled!
Is this a poster for the new "Sex and the City" picture?
Not see in the picture...Mike Vick fleeing from the dog, which is fleeing from the horse.
The food chain has clearly been flipped upside down.
Would you say it's time we crack each others heads open and feast on the goo inside?
We let one of them star in a horrendous HBO series, what more could they possibly want?
something must be wrong, the post author says "Leitch"
Clearly this has Balls written all over it.
And Sarah Jessica Parker spit at a photographer.
*seen (yes, I need a proofreader)
Let us not forget that horses can be trained to kick field goals.
This makes Canadian Parliament's decision to allow RCMP horses to carry their own tasers all the more chilling.
They're going to kill Dee Mirich first so us humans know they're serious...
/can't remember who I'm plagerizing this joke from
Chinese food. French food.
Are Brady Quinn's sister jokes still cool? I need to know before I type anything more.
I'm glad to see that Dana Jacobson has put he alcoholism behind her. Look at her playfully romping with her dog! You go girl.
@Send It In, Jerome!: I give up, which one is Carrie?
Look at Dana Jacobson frolicking with her dog! What a beautiful Christmas photo!
Mr. Ed's exchanges with Wilbur have grown exceedingly militant in their tone, now that you mention it.
@Card_Chronicle: Can we also have a check on Yakov Smirnoff?
@Doyle McPoyle: A movie this summer?
@Spaceman Spiff: +1
Payback's a filly.
We have nothing to worry about. That brand spanking multi-billion dollar Missile Defense System will certainly take care of the Stallion Rebellion.
Batshit Crazy Witness Alan East said: "You could see the horse didn't look happy as it was being paraded around, it was kicking out.
/fixed
Being enslaved by horses has always been one of my mane concerns.
That photos just another reminder of Budweiser's superiority over Miller Lite.
@Yellow Tail Swine: "Get your hoof off me, you damned dirty horse!"
@Stay Away From Oprah: Well that explain Janikowski.
You could see the horse didn't look happy
It had a pretty long face. WAKKA! WAKKA! WAKKA!
/SOR
@Suss--:
You can't have a stable mind, making a joke like that.
@Suss--: Aren't you hot to trot?
I'm just surprised Rick didn't get this story.
and
this
seriously? fuck you Gawker IT.
@Suss--:
Then you won't want to hear this story of this childhood pal o' mino who worked at Churchill Downs.
@Suss--: Only a foal could seriously believe horses could dominate humanity.
This story must be connected somehow.
The horse revolution would have started long ago, but every time they get together they lose their voice.
It's a good thing I've stocked up on sugar cubes, apples and carrots...
@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Yes... Feast... yes...
@Jefferson Short Bus: +16/1 odds
That picture is awesome.
/manures field
@BigTenObsession: Hay now.
@Gourmet Spud: We better saddle up - this could get bumpy.
@Suss--: But it mare may not happen we will hae to wait and see.
"Then you won't want to hear this story of this childhood pal o' mino who worked at Churchill Downs."
Herd it already.
The end is neigh.
Vick Dog Picture > Horse Dog Picture
@Suss--: To avoid being caught by one of the rebellious horses, you mustangle your rifle just right before shooting it.
@Suss--: Saddle enough, I'm worried about it also.
@