Deadspin
Among the countless reasons why you shouldn't pursue a career in sports: The sports pages will always consider what you do news, even if you haven't worked in sports in years and find yourself arrested for something that has nothing to do with sports. Once a news item, always a news item.
Pity, then, poor Lawrence Michael "Poppy" Vincent, a former track coach in the San Antonio area who is now just a sad, confused, horny old man.
The report states Vincent was spotted near his car in a wooded area of McAllister Park holding a bible. He reportedly made conversation with an undercover officer before trying to rub against him
.
Vincent was arrested just before 4 p.m., after pulling down his pants and revealing a pair of floral panties. The encounter escalated when Vincent exposed himself.
Vincent had actually still been coaching part-time at the Bracken Christian School, but he was fired yesterday morning. We are curious the substance of those track uniforms.
Ex-Track Coach Charged With Indecent Exposure [My San Antonio]
Comments
ASSSSSSSS TO ASSSSSSSSSS
Did Poppy pee his car seat?
Yes, No
Wow, Kristy Swanson needs to get better gigs...
But he was holding a bible!
Earl 5:19 "And then he rubbeth himself on an undercover Roman and was thrown from the community. For whosoever weareth the floral panties seeks not justice, but just a little snuggling."
E5Rod: JOO DON EVEN KNOW FLORAL PANTIES ARE SOOO SEXY
I find sexual experiences involving The Bible to be the most pleasurable.
I'll show you mine if you show me yours
Poppy was in the woods with a bible and floral panties. Whats the big deal?
What the heck was Buzz Bissinger doing in McAllister Park in his panties?
The Corinthians always get me a touch hot and bothered as well. Can't blame the guy.
@Detective Bunk: +3
That photo reminds me of Homer S: Portrait of an Ass Grabber.
He did it at 4pm? Not even under the cover of darkness? That dude is bold.
Former track coach? Why didn't he run away?
What they don't mention is that the undercover cop was dressed as a tree. Leave the guy alone.
Poppy hasn't been in this much trouble since Jerry called in the health inspector on him.
Joel Brodsky thinks he just needed to try posing as an ESPN analyst. That gets tons of high school ass.
Sir, you have your Proverbs on my Psalms.
Floral panties? Everyone knows those are so out right now.
/jezzie'ed
Grandpa Poppy?
I guess rubbing is just for racing.
@UkraineNotWeak: mmmm. gummy venus
The encounter escalated when Vincent exposed himself.
That's not the only thing that escalated. Hey now.
@HIV 2 Elway: or get one of his field buddies to stab the dude with a javelin?
@Arriaga_II: Looks like Poppy's a little sloppy.
This man is fit for Catholic priesthood.
He couldn't find the passage in the Bible about how exposing yourself is a sin because some of the pages were stuck together.
clearly Uncle Junior just lost his glasses and was bumping into things because he couldn't see
The encounter escalated when Vincent exposed himself.
I bet it did.
@Arriaga_II: depends.
/here all week
dad?
@HebrewHammer: good one.
@The Fan's Attic: Fuck you gawker server.
Officer: Excuse me sir, but those are floral panties, aren't they?
Vincent: Depends.
I bet the floral panties had snaps down the side so, like track pants, he could rip them off with a flourish.
Threadjack/
Leafs shitcanned Maurice.
/Threadjack
Pepper Jack love the Fraggle Rock
/sunny'd
Yet, he's still had a better week than Tim Duncan.
I don't think it's right that Leitch makes fun of old people who aren't acting like "typical old people."
I'M CALLING NPR
The book of dudeyourrubbingonme
shoud have been you, Gordon Jump
The undercover cop wasn't his first choice, but Dudley from "Diff'rent Strokes" is grown and unemployed.
@Tebow2007: Well played.
Additional research reveals that:
The report also states the coach then pulled down his shorts "exposing floral panties" and "wearing a woman's bra."
[www.woai.com]
at least wear something lacy if you wanna feel pretty, coach.
Give the guy a break. He was just warming up for his javelin toss.
@The Fan's Attic: learning he is 74 and seeing the picture just gave me all kinds of nightmare fuel
@Chuckie Hacks 2 and 0:
Onanism?
He just has a wide stance!
Great, now all I'm going to see is this guy's ugly face when I put on my floral panties and bra every morning.
How many are we talkin?
undercover cops? my whole life? I dunno, 20,30...
Among the countless reasons why you shouldn't pursue a career in sports: The sports pages will always consider what you do news, even if you haven't worked in sports in years and find yourself arrested for something that has nothing to do with sports. Once a news item, always a news item.*
*Unless you're a man, and currently employed by TWWL in which case all indiscretions will then be overlooked and kept underwraps.
Floral panties, ay, there's the rub.
Hamlet Act III Scene I
Jan-Michael "Poppy" Vincent?
Vincent was arrested just before 4 p.m., after pulling down his pants and revealing a pair of floral panties. The encounter escalated when Vincent exposed himself and asked the officer to call him big Poppy.
/Ortiz'd
Old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be...
Mentioning high school track gives grounds for a link to a picture of Allison Stokke.
@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: anytime is a good time for that.
Mike Cooper is intrigued and wishes to subscribe to Poppy Vincent's newsletter.
whitesnake moan
If that van's a' rockin'.....
@pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: This guy better call the "Sex Talk" lady this weekend. It's her final show.
[www.cnn.com]
This never would have happened if "Poppy" Vincent had read W.C. Heinz.
How do you not use the nightmare fuel tag when you use that picture?