Deadspin
Everyone getting excited about the upcoming season of Hard Knocks: Dallas Cowboys has every right to be. With a colorful cast of characters to choose from like Terrell Owens, Pacman Jones (please), Tony Romo and the mesmerizing handywork of Jerry Jones' plastic surgeon, it'll be entertaining television even for those who don't enjoy HBO's other reality programming.
But there is some bad news for those who hoped that Tony Romo's blue icing-swallowing jinx, Jessica Simpson, would pop up in episodes — it's not going to happen. So says HBO president Ross Greenburg and NFL Films guru Steve Sabol to a roomful of Cowboys' reporters:
This is not the E Television Network," HBO Sports president Ross Greenburg said with a somewhat straight face. "This is HBO and HBO Sports. We're doing it for the avid football fan that used to watch Inside the NFL."NFL Films president Steve Sabol said Jess wouldn't be a major part of the show "unless she's out there running 7-on-7 drills."
Yes, you got that? The show is not called "Hard Knockers" for a reason, you tabloid trash-digesting philistines.
HBO Exec: Jess Will Not Be A Hard Knocks Star [DallasCowboys Blog]
Comments
There's a "I'd drill her 7-on-7" joke to be made here, but I can't quite tease it out.
She'll have to marry Romo to get any more reality TV face time.
I have access to more Tony Romo bday photos on teh facebooks
Anyone interested?
Was anyone else hoping that HBO reality link was to G-String Divas instead of COSTAS NOW?
@Clare: I was trying to figure it out, too, but then I decided I'm probably not the right person for the job.
But there will still be plenty of O-lineman man boobs, right?
Man, what's Martin Lawrence so pissed about?
@Clare: She does excel on getting drilled by 7 simultaneously.
Jessica Simpson retards everything she touches. She is like a King BOCES.
I'm more surprised that TO will be there.
Great. Now where am I supposed to find a video involving a hot blonde who has sex with Dallas Cowboys players?
Smurfette's compettion joke redux!
@Bobby_Big_Wheel: Suck it up and spend the extra $13.95 a month for the Playboy Channel. Or, um, whatever it costs.
If this pic was from a party like the stripper's birthday party I attended a couple of weeks ago, the following things would happen after it was taken:
1. Jessica and Ashley would smear one another's bodies with cake.
2. Ashley would smash Jessica's face into the cake.
3. Jessica would begin grabbing hunks of cake and hurling them at club patrons.
@Gourmet Spud: What color are Steely's tresses under that hardhat?
@Bobby_Big_Wheel: No. I was expecting Hookers at the Point.
@Dieter: It actually goes more along the lines of Two Girls, One Birthday Cake Box
Well, the only reason they had to show Kelli Croyle and October Gonzalez last season so often was because the actual football parts were so damn boring...so I understand.
@Clare: I'd drill her gaps in 7-on-7.
Tony Romo is singing take me out to the ballgame at Wrigley on Sunday.
"And no, Preston from Bangbros, nor his blue jeep, will appear unless they're out there running 7-on-7 drills."
On a more serious note, I don't know what "duan" means. I hope it isn't obvious. I hate looking like a dummy in front of my cyber-peers.
I think they should just insert Braylon Edwards into uncomfortable situations. It worked so well.
They are not booing they are saying hBOOBo
Luis Hernandez has to be the worst everyday player in baseball.
@Bring Me The Head of Karim Garcia: Deadspin Up All Night, coined for the last post of the evening where all topics are allowed and there is no such thing as a threadjack.
@Bring Me The Head of Karim Garcia: Deadspin Up! All Night
@Bring Me The Head of Karim Garcia: It stands for "Duh Uhhhh... Ahhhh... No?"
It's named after the only words we'll know how to say once blogs rule the world.
To hell with Charlie Weis.
/Obligatory
@1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes: Brawndo?
@MitchKayak: Like the back of a Volkswagen?
@Clare:
Length versus depth.
@formerly Chief Wahoo: [threadjack
I can still threadjack by saying your mom performed fellatious acts on Buzz Bissinger
[/threadjack
@jwaves2007:
Speaking of choking in the playoffs...
This doesn't mean HBO hasn't approached Jessica to do the show Hard Knockers.
hello DUAN!
Clare, you have email...
@Yellow Tail Swine: That's great news. If you have a current phone number for her it'll save me a lot of embarrassment approaching strange women at truck stops on Sunday in hopes of finding her.
Jessica, however, will be making an appearance in Joe Francis' Girls Gone Wild:Cowboys Training Camp due out on DVD in the fall.
@Jefferson Short Bus: No. More like someplace girls dread.
@UkraineNotWeak: Can I pre-order that somewhere?
Haven't been here in a while.
@formerly Chief Wahoo: +5 My screen apparently needed that beer bath.
@MitchKayak: Roman Polanski's house?
@UkraineNotWeak: Terry Glenn is in that one, right?
@I Party With 33765-183: Parcells?
@formerly Chief Wahoo: She doesn't have a phone number that I'm aware of.
In fact, I'm not aware of any member of the Equine family having the ability to use a phone.
@longefellowes: You have a very sick sense of humor. I'd be concerned about you if you weren't laughing at something I wrote.
We're doing it for the avid football fan that used to watch Inside the NFL.
We're also doing it for the gay hip-hop moguls
@Clare: You just did, dear.
@formerly Chief Wahoo: @The Fan's Attic:
Golly, fellers! You sure are nice.
Thanks.
@Clare: Airtight with Jessica Simpson.
Good?
@Becky_MI: FUCK NOTRE DAME!
It's not E! TV, it's HBO?
Jess wouldn't be a major part of the show "unless she's out there running 7-on-7 drills.
Isn't that one of the fucking machines?
@MrRedDevil: High FIIIIIIIVE!
Is Showalter charging Victor Martinez for that BJ, or is it a freebie?
Seriously, is there a condition that causes Polanco-head? 'Cause that thing defies nature.
I thought it meant Daulerio's Under-Aged Nymphos. Glad that got cleared up. I think Pacman will be using "blue icing" as his next catchphrase.
@Becky_MI: [img.timeinc.net]
It is 71 and breezy in my 'hood right now and it couldn't be nicer.
I will try to remember this on a 95 degree, 90% humidity day in July when it takes all of my will power not to kill passers by.
Is Nibbles moving things around tonight?
@thetaxman: Wait, wasn't HBO behind "Real Sex"??
@Rock You Like An Iracane: Either that or I have a carbon monoxide leak in my apartment.
And hey, if you don't mind me asking, how did your academic situation turn out?
(sorry if you've already previously covered that issue with the DUANers.)
"His teammates love playing behind him..."
/Dave Obrien
Ugh