Deadspin
Now back in your starting lineup, sporting an 0-7 record and a 6.95 ERA, only the third starting pitcher since 1956 to go 0-6 before May ... Barry Zito. Thank you. It was a good spot for Giants' manager Bruce Bochy to bring Zito back from the bullpen. Wednesday's opponent was the Pirates, featuring the pitching stylings of Phil Dumatrait, who came into the game with an 0-5 record in 17 career appearances. Surely Zito could win under those conditions. Pirates 3, Giants 1. Sigh.
Here's the thing though: Zito didn't suck (loud crash as you drop whatever that is that you were holding). He began with three scoreless innings, and finished with five innings pitched, giving up three hits, two earned runs and two walks, with five strikeouts. Xavier Nady had a two-run homer in the fourth; did you know he leads the NL in RBIs? Dumatrait, by the way, went 5 2/3 scoreless innings for the win, so congratulations to all of you who have him on your fantasy teams. *Crickets.* But Zito; light at the end of the tunnel. I know he can win a game if we all believe. Clap your hands if you believe!
• His Mob Name Is Joey Three Times. Remember this day, my friends, as the day that The Big Red Machine returned to Cincinnati. The Reds hit seven homers — three by Joey Votto — to claim a 9-0 win over the Cubs. The seven home runs broke the Reds' team single-game record at Great American Ball Park, and it's the most the Reds have hit in a game since setting the NL record with nine in Philadelphia on Sept. 4, 1999. Four of them came in the fourth off of Jon "Danger: Flammable Contents" Lieber.
• Bring Back The Sex Doll Shrine. Carlos Gomez hit for the cycle, which last happened to a Twins player a mere 22 years ago when Kirby Puckett did it. Livan Hernandez took a shutout into the ninth, and the Twins beat the White Sox 13-1. By the way, a friend of mine who saw the shrine said it was nothing bad, and that the only reason there was a controversy was because the Toronto media was determined to make make a big deal out of it. Beanball war! I hope the two teams harbor no ill feelings toward one another.
• Battle Of Unbeatens Results In One Being Beaten. Cleveland's Cliff Lee — the anti-Zito — improved to 6-0 in six total starts, handing Chien-Ming Wang his first loss in a 3-0 decision over the Yankees. Fun fact I learned from a blog named CastroTurf: Lee (0.81 ERA) is working on a streak of 28 consecutive innings without giving up a walk, which is the longest streak in the majors.
• Your Eephus Pitch Update. Today's victim of the eephus pitch is David Ortiz (actually Tuesday, I think). Enjoy.
Comments
No love for the return of Norton?
(loud crash as you drop whatever that is that you were holding)
Just checked, yep, it's still attached...phew
...and that the only reason there was a controversy was because the Toronto media was determined to make make a big deal out of it.
That's because they had to fill the lull between stories involving Tim Horton's:
[consumerist.com]
It starts with a Timbit, then all of a sudden you are giving away crullers...
what no mention of Papelnuts getting buzzsawed?
Is there a Leith imposed ban on talking about the Cardinal's choke job last night?
@BigRicks: Wow, you're really excited about Barry Zito!
I said it in DUAN and I'll say it again:
Phil Dumatrait > Barry Zito.
/readjusts black and gold colored glasses
@BigRicks: Good thing, I'm sure.
Guess who's back?
Back again?
Zito's back!
Tell your fr...AND ITS A LONG FLY BALL TO LEFT FIELD, LEWIS BACK TO THE TRACK, AT THE WALL, AND THAT'S WAY, WAY DEEP INTO THE LEFT FIELD BLEACHERS. THREE RUN HOME RUN AND THE GIANTS TRAIL 5-0
-the real Slim Shady
Not to be picky, but I'm pretty sure that was just a crappy curveball, not an eephus pitch. Doesn't the eephus go above the batter's head, and then sink way down?
/dick joke.
LOVE the eephus pitch
/Spaceman Lee
@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: That was a stellar display of competence by our boys last night.
What's that smell? .500?
Mediocrity, there's a seat waiting for you at PNC Park.
@Gourmet Spud: I thought Canadians were a giving group. They have been giving Americans the Stanley Cup every year for the last 15 (and counting!)
I'm gonna ask you a simple question and I want you to listen to me: who's the big winner here tonight at Yankees Stadium? Huh? Cliff Lee, that's who. Cliff Lee's the big winner. Cliff Lee wins.
@Tebow2007:
Love the invite pitch.
/Bingo Long
@Sarcastro: Actually, unless there's a bobblehead giveaway or it's fireworks night, there's probably about 29,000 seats available for mediocrity
Does this mean that Carlos Gomez will also become the first Twins player in 22 years to become overweight, half blind, and sexually assault a woman in a restaurant bathroom?
@HockeyMountain:
We're not going to play that game, are we? After all, the Colorado Avalanche (which I presume to be your team) were led by such American stalwarts as Sakic, Forsberg, Roy, Hejduk, Foote, Bourque, Lemieux, Blake...
Carlos Gomez has got some serious wheels.
[mlb.mlb.com]
@Rob Iracane: @ghostsoftheSCupcountry: I tried to work it into a Wang losing joke, but the creative juices aren't quite flowing yet this morning.
@HockeyMountain: Hey! That's not fair. Nobody won in 2005, so really it's only 3 years and counting.
somewhat serious ?
Do you think teammates dislike players like Zito or Hampton? Players making loads of cash while contributing little to the team...
@BarbarobicsInstructor: True. True.
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: First win this season in a game they weren't leading after 6. About damn time.
@Marth: Nope. I'd say the odds are on Delmon Young to accomplish that.
@Magnakai Haaskivi:
From sarcastically tipping his cap to a 0.81 ERA, never saw that coming.
@Secret Identity: And, how many teams have ever won the Cup with a non-Canadian captain?
I think only 1. (Stars, Hatcher.)
@Secret Identity: There you guys go.. giving us Americans your best players (well minus Forsberg)
@Matt_T: Yeah, no lie. Let's hope it continues.
Barry Zito 2008::Brian Kingman 1980
@BarbarobicsInstructor: Failure called and said he wanted to go to a game with Mediocrity. I hope I can find 'em two seats near each other
@Marth: I hope not, I had Delmon Young in the pool.
@Gourmet Spud:Sadly, this incident also marked the highest level of competence ever displayed by a Tim Horton's employee.
@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: If they sit far enough away from Self-Loathing, they won't hear him cry.
Verrrry Impressive Mistah Zi-to!
Barry Zito. Almost as good at stealing as Mike Hampton.
His Mob Name Is Joey Three Times
I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers ... get the papers?
I refuse to believe Kirby Puckett ever hit a triple.
As for Barry Zito, somewhere Anthony Young is praying for that streak to continue.
@Baudolino:
I believe you're correct. And currently there are 3 Canadian captains (Crosby, Smith, Morrow) and a Swede (Lidstrom) left.
@Doyle McPoyle: @Weed Against Speed: So we're at least all in agreement that it won't be Brad Radke?
I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers, get the papers.
You forgot to talk about Izzy's stellar performance at Coors last night, allowing me to keep my sanity for one more day at least.
@MattinglysSideburns:
Seriously. I ask for a Strawberry Vanilla donut and always get Vanilla Dip. One has jelly in the middle, the other doesn't. C'mon now.
@MattinglysSideburns: A friend of mine is a baker at a Timmy's in Oshawa... and given what he's told me, you're absolutely correct.
@The Count of Monte Fisto: DAMN!
@PaulByrdsDentist: Not me, man. He's already got more wins than he did in all of 2007.
@shea_guevara:
If Frank Thomas can hit a triple, so could Kirby Puckett.
@5280: Hmm I may have to seriously consider changing my avatar...
/threadjack
For the Erin Andrews worshippers;
She'll be on Donnie Deutsch's "Big Idea" show on CNBC at 10PM tonight.
@HugsFromHarold: Remember the Maroth!
@Sarcastro: I said it in DUAN and I'll say it again...I thought they made him look like Koufax at times. Ol' Bob Walk had it right when he said that they were swinging at all the balls and taking every single strike. Methinks they'll finish the sweep and then drop 3 straight.
@shea_guevara: Watching Kirby Puckett run the bases was kind of like watching Babe Ruth run the bases in those old-timey news reels.
@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: Huh, I would have though that failure was a life-long season ticket holder...
@BarbarobicsInstructor: *thought, jackass
@francois_leroux_speedskater: I'm almost certain that's how it's going to work out.
Also, I think it would be enjoyable to get drunk with Walk.
@HockeyMountain: Well, I might do the same. People might get the idea I like CU.
Can we please stop with the "NL West is the best division in baseball" columns now?
@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: Also, I would like to propose that Failure and Mediocrity be the new nicknames for LaRoche and Bay, respectively
@5280: Wait, people think Coloradans care about CU sports?
@Sarcastro: He used to come in and shop all the time at a store I worked at over college summers. Always looked 1.Pissed off that he had to accompany the wife and 2. Like he'd just finished 2 packs of cigarettes before walking in. So yes, I think he would be fun to drink with.
@