Deadspin
By now you've probably heard of the tragic accident involving Mr. Redlegs, the jovial, mustachioed mascot of the Cincinnati Reds. Speeding around the warning track at Great American Ball Park prior to a game with the Cubs, Mr. Redlegs tumbled from the back of the vehicle and had his head pop off, among other injuries. He of course was euthanized on the spot. At first glance it all seems to be an accident ... but was it? Following the jump, video of the shocking event, plus a partial list of suspects who may have wanted to see Mr. Redlegs bumped off.
Unfortunate mishap ... or murder? View the persons of interest in the baffling Mr. Redlegs case, and judge for yourself:
• Gapper. Reds mascot and former carpet remnant was driving the vehicle, was last person to see Mr. Redlegs alive.
• Ghost of Marge Schott. Late Reds owner once vowed to strike at Mr. Redlegs from the grave.
• Mr. Red. Co-mascot felt marginalized by more popular rival, may have been bitter over lack of mustache, health benefits.
• Ken Griffey Jr.. Wants out of Cincinnati, will go to any means to achieve it.
• Marty Brenneman. Cranky octogenarian Reds announcer will tolerate no juvenile antics; once ordered Mr. Redlegs to get off his lawn.
• John Fay. Cincinnati Enquirer Reds' reporter may have been involved in contentious love triangle with Mr. Redlegs and actress Tina Yothers.
• Robert Weintraub. Despite handlebar mustache and 19th century-style baseball cap, Mr. Redlegs refused to talk in Purple Prose.
• Wizard Cat. Hates costumes.
The Zapruder Film of the 21st century:.
Mr. Redlegs Loses His Head [Bugs & Cranks]
Comments
Mose Schrute is Mr. Redlegs?!?!
Wow.
I thought there would be a lot more blood involved.
must be on something.
his boner never softened.
"Mr. Chandler, it's Jim Garrison on Line 1..."
Can we please leave Weintraub in Wednesdays?
Couldn't have been Schott, Mr. Redlegs is clearly not black.
Also, I didn't know Jim Gaffigan reported for the Cincy Enquirer!
Mike Wilbon was seen leaving the scene in a World B. Free jersey.
LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT THING! IT'S LIKE SPUTNIK!
Ronaldo..will do anything for head
Please be Weintraub. Send him to prison with no computer access.
A simple cantrip from Wizard Cat is all that it took...
Lance Armstrong can relate to losing a ball.
@Civil Negligence: Better still, let's leave him in a dumpster with his head tucked between Shanoff's legs.
Rob Iracane is fucking John Fay, so he is also a suspect.
Not my boyfriend John Fay!
See how quick those Reds Trainers were getting out there to help him...
That's what years of Griffey Jr. in the outfield will do for a training staff
@Doyle McPoyle: First thing I thought of. Chip chop chip.
Joe Morgan: Because the 1975 Reds didn't need no mascot so the current Reds should be able to get along without one too.
Hey Ralphie, you'll shoot your eye out
@Magnakai Haaskivi: I was thinking magic missile.
I guess this means People for the Ethical Treatment of Mascots will be staging protests this weekend.
Little known fact: Gapper is the former mayor of Dallas.
I'll see if I can ascertain Eric Karabell's fantasy take on these events now in his live chat.
You never leave a man behind!
Shoulda been you, Youppi.
Just like at home, no head.
I think it was Roger McDowell.
FUCK YEAH!
-Randall Simon
The manufacturer of the ATV has to be added to the list of suspects. Have we learned nothing from the incidents involving Moose, Mariner and Crisp, Coco?
+1 to this entire post.
That was one magic loogie.
it was Mr. Met. this league is only big enough for one mascot with an unnecessarily large baseball head. Braves mascot... you're next!
Should've been you, Mr. Met.
His head went down and to the right. There must have been an accomplice.
It was Johnny Bench. He's still pissed off that The Baseball Bunch was taken off the air in 1985 and has always suspected Mr. Redlegs had something to do with it.
Not the time to lose one's head.
That's not the way to get ahead in life.
It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong.
He'll never be the head of a major corporation.
Okay, that'll do.
This should be an Agatha Christie novel... for cosplay enthusiasts.
Gapper?
Just... sad. You're a lame "mascot" AND you're staging assasination attempts.
Crosby Stills and Nash are furiously writing a song in tribute. Young is probably too busy with the toy trains to care, though.
Benny the Bull was seen leaving the scene on a red mo-ped.
Purple prose < Blue Balls
It was Corey Patterson. He was jealous of Mr. Redlegs higher OBP
Aaron Harang: wanted to keep the "weirdest facial hair on the team" title
Anyone else see a puff of smoke in the top left corner of the third frame?
@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: Awesome +1.
His head fell off?
Yeah, he was pretty old.
@millensdraftskills:
Purple prose < Blue Balls < Yellow Belly < Red Ass < Green Thumb < The Pink
Dr. Johnny Fever: 60s flashback.
Randall Simon was driving the ATV.
It was Bronson Arroyo. It was no secret that Mr. Redlegs thought his cover of "Everlong" sucked ass.
So how many fucking mascots does one horseshit team need? That's three, by my count. Four, if you count Dusty Baker.
Does anyone know the whereabouts of Dennis Haskins at the time of the incident?
You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Our mascots' HEADS ARE FALLIN' OFF!
Can someone explain to me why the Reds have two mascots, Mr. Redlegs and Gapper? Is one just not good enough?
How about Tebow? He really gets into doing stuff like this.
You can't say that Cincinnati doesn't love you, Mr. Redlegs.