What you missed you as you realized that, like Jeremy Goodwin, you desperately needed that 9th inning rally...

What you missed while vomiting at the Red Sox loss last night
[www.theonion.com]

What you missed while learning that relocation packages are awesome....

Oh...ummm...

//dick joke

I was busy watching the Tribe keep Wang from performing.

That's just never going to get old.

What you missed while realizing your Bar Mitzvah was 32 years ago today.

That makes me a man and I'm over 40. But I do not drive a Dodge Stratus.

@formerly Chief Wahoo:

There's a Jewish joke in that line.

What you missed while realizing that if you've checked Deadspin twice already and About Last Night wasn't up yet, you are up too goddamn early.

Finals and Jason Isringhausen blow.

@Lady Andrea: Deadspin is the first thing I check when I get into work at 7:30 and I usually check 7 or 8 times before About Last Night is up. I enjoy procrastinating.

@MeSoHornsby: You're not alone...

Some people need coffee, I need About last night

@MeSoHornsby: @Hustler of Culture: this is the first time in a LONG time I've been up for the initial posting of About Last Night. I honestly think the last time was last fall. I flipped on early Sportscenter and made the comment, "Since when does the six-fingered man do hockey highlights?"

@MeSoHornsby: I get up early these days to walk the puppy and love me a little Deadspin before going back to bed.

I generally get in at 6:30AM and get my morning online reading done before checking to see if "About Last Night" is up.

Also, does anyone else get a kick out of the way Marv Albert says the word "rejected"? As in "rejected by Dwight Howard." Kills me.

What you missed while playing a softball double-header and getting shin splints.

Getting old sucks hard.

@Lady Andrea:

I was at my desk at 7:15. Of course I checked Deadspin looking for ALN, and didn't realize it was in fact 7:15 and not 8:15 (which is the time I usually show up)

@UkraineNotWeak: Also funny when he says "rejected when I put on lingerie and tried to bite her".

Wait - I thought Rose Mary Woods was dead?

What you missed while finally finding a place where those pesky protesters can't find you ...

@Hustler of Culture: I need both.

Last week I had a day off and woke up around 8:00. I thought to myself "Hey, I bet ALN is up now". I sat down at the computer and then said out loud to myself "what the fuck are you doing?" and went back to bed.

What you missed while getting the new US flag design ready

Two Floridas?

Spiro Agnew is an anagram for Grow A Penis

@formerly Chief Wahoo: I somehow misread that as "love me a little puppy". Maybe I need to go back to bed.

What you missed as you watched only the best fucking video on YouTube...

+ Watch video

@Lady Andrea: I know, haven't seen you around these parts in a while. Welcome to way-too-early in the morning....

@MeSoHornsby: Coffee, Deadspin, and Bloomberg make the morning.

@What Would Kornheiser Do? Presented by Larsen's Biscuits: Fucking skanks.

What you missed while trying to catch up on both HIMYM and The Office ...

I'm probably the 3 billionth person to make a Fluffy Fingers reference, but damn that was funny.

@Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price:

He learned that when he was a Newsie.

@UkraineNotWeak: The muffled "That's what she said!" when Dwight yelled at Michael to "Stick it in deep" in the concrete scene made my night.

What you missed while watching Iron Man in a completely empty theater, allowing you to pee in a soda cup instead of going to the bathroom and missing something.

That's what I did.

@HIV 2 Elway: I think there should be a Gawker site for finance. A forum where people can appreciate my hilarious comments about Ben Bernanke!

What you missed while booking a train ticket back to Manhattan to take the firefighter's test tomorrow.

I shouldn't get so excited, though, because, as 30 Rock has taught us, the FDNY test is completely biased against the Irish.

@Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price: Ha. I don't remember hearing that but I'm laughing.

@What Would Kornheiser Do? Presented by Larsen's Biscuits: sweet shades

@Herbies_Wingman: If we disregard for a moment the complete implausibility of this idea for a moment, the U.S. Army Institute of Heraldry is ready to go:

Oh and ALN is what makes me feel better about being to work for 7 AM.

What you missed while going to bed early.

Carlos Gomez's freaking cycle [cbs.sportsline.com]

/Of all the nights to think "Hey, I can miss one game, right?"

@Dead Wrestlers Society: Ice and NSAIDS will cure that if done correctly. Guaranteed.

@RachelRayIsTheDevil: yeah, I had to do a little icing last night. Thanks for the tip. Oh to be 21 again.

@Dead Wrestlers Society: I knew I was getting old when I could no longer smoke cigarettes while on base.

An 18-minute gap? C.R.E.E.P. would be proud. Wait for the movie, "All Of Belichick's Men."

What you're missing while you're giggling at the idea of hearing an announcer say "We're coming to you live from the campus of the University of South Florida in Tampa, North Florida!"

There's an 18 minute gap between Strahan's teeth.

@formerly Chief Wahoo: YES!!!

Not to sound like an ass, but the Patriots didn't submit any video to the league. Matt Walsh did, and he is no longer connected to the Pats in any way.

What you missed while Conor Jackson got KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT.
[www.redlasso.com]

@Clare: Concussions are not so fun.

@HazelMaesLandingStrip:

Sorry, all of my information comes from single sentences on Deadspin.

@Clare: Another dozen shots to the head like that and he'll be able to relate to your average Phillies fan.

@formerly Chief Wahoo: [throws battery]

@Phatty: 202, theatre no. 10, public urination.

@What Would Kornheiser Do? Presented by Larsen's Biscuits: I can't believe Willie Randolph doesn't like these guys.