Deadspin
It is times like these where Yankee-haters even must bow down to the catnip that is Derek Jeter's machismo. Maxim's Hot 100 list contains six women who've been romantically linked to the Yankee shortstop.
Depending on Jeter's next conquest, he's entering the rarified air of such cooze-hounding heavyweights like Robert Evans, Kelly Slater, and Scott Baio. (Oh, and Bo Belinsky.)
Let's gaze longingly and agogingly (author's note: not a real word) at Jeter's bodycount:
• Scarlett Johansson
• Gabrielle Union
• Mariah Carey
• Jessica Biel
• Vanessa Minillo
• Jessica Alba
Jesus.
Derek Jeter: American Hero [Russakof Rules] (via)(via)
Photo: NY Post
Comments
Hey, how about a huge female ASS on my screen while i try to partake in DUAN at work?!
But can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Impressive. That's roughly four more than me.
Breathtaking.
you think that ass is huge? Check out the chicks head directly to the right. It's almost as big.
Good for you Jeter, but that's a lot of herpes spread around Hollywood.
/Would still yes all those listed. Even crazy ass Mariah
When Mariah Carey ROUNDS OUT your top 6, you must be doing something right.
I don't even care whose ass that is, I want to see more.
/still would like to know whose ass that is.
Yes.
Yes.
NO!!!!
Yes.
Yes.
Yes!.
He nailed Jesus!?!?
A Rod's buggered 6 of Men's Health's Top 100 Tops.
To think, all those women have herpes.
Le sigh.
@LosOsosdeChicago: photo cap says jessicabielandjeter
@LosOsosdeChicago: jessicabielandjeter.jpg
@LosOsosdeChicago: Gotta be Alba ass. Or some Biel ass.
/mmmmmalbaorbielassmmmmm
I'd risk herpes for any one of those girls.
@Nacho Friendly: Was buggered by, you mean.
Good lord, do I hate the word "cooze." Makes me feel pukey.
Yeah, he could land 'em, but he must not be that good if he couldn't keep 'em.
thats the question....would you fuck one of these girls (with the obvious exception of Carey) if it meant herpes?
I don't know....I can't say yes to that.
Well, that's a heck of a thing to come back to for DUAN.
@Jen P: What is your take on the word moist? As in "she was moist".
@amorphous: But apparently you can't find a hot pic of Jesus in a google image search.
Sure, over the course of his career he's pulled in some of the most incredible ass we've ever seen, but on a day to day basis he's slow executing a simple double date.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo bites her thumb in your general dir...: I don't think that his plan involves keeping them.
@RyanBeingManny: I'd risk it for Biel and Johansson, but none of the others. I'm not really a big Alba man, to be honest.
@amorphous: +1
Jessica Biel can apparently palm a medicine ball.
@amorphous: Derek Jeter is Jewish?
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo bites her thumb in your general dir...:
Giardi: Know how to make a girl orgasm?
Jeter: Who Cares!
@Fat-Fat: Dirty talk.
words fail. they should have sent a poet.
@Fat-Fat: That's fine. I just prefer to stay away from terms that contain the word "ooze."
@Fat-Fat: Now you're just asking for trouble. I believe that it is genetically encoded in all women to hate the word moist.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo bites her thumb in your general dir...: If only he comped the parking fee.
@Fat-Fat: ew. moist is the worst word EVER.
and, i don't see his appeal. he's not so attractive.
@Jen P: So a moist ooze doesn't do anything for you, then?
@PeteJayhawk:Pete, you just made me cringe. Stop that.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo bites her thumb in your general dir...: But he has CALM EYES!
@PeteJayhawk: thighs is the worst word to combine with moist. moist thighs. *shudder* that's just gross.
Golden? What happened to the simple plaster cast?
@J-No: Sorry. No more, I promise.
I've always said you can tell a lot about a man based on which of the three Jessicas he prefers (Simpson being the third). I would have to put myself in the Beil camp, but just barely.
Only six? Well, if that's the best you can do Derek, I guess that's okay. For you. Gave it your best effort and all that.
But seriously, only six?
@Nationalcoholic: But he has STONER eyes. and not in a Jason Castro, doe-eyed way.
@PeteJayhawk:Thanks, it will take me a while to get that out of my brain.
/going for a cocktail just as soon as I leave the office.
@PeteJayhawk: GAHHHH!
*covers eyes, runs off*
*immediately trips and breaks ankle*
Thanks a lot.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo bites her thumb in your general dir...: mmm, KFC.
@PeteJayhawk: a little too much cheese on the taco?
/Hank from Me, Myself & Irene
Too bad most of the time he only gets to first base.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo bites her thumb in your general dir...: So, you prefer wet panties as opposed to moist panties? The former makes me think you have bladder issues.
@J-No: I've got one in hand, which perhaps explains the cavalier manner in which I throw around these awful words.
@1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes: +1
Hmm. The moist test is only one against out of three women. I thought it would be all against.
@Jen P: I'd insert an Eight Belles joke here, but I'm afraid the death stare I'd get would travel from Utah to Kansas in nanoseconds.
@RyanBeingManny: I've been on the Alba bandwagon since Idle Hands
How about moist vag(e)?
@PeteJayhawk: never heard another woman hate the word "moist" but i remember a girl i went to college with who would flip the fuck out whenever she heard it. i always thought she was just a crazy person.
@Fat-Fat: Vaj?
@PeteJayhawk: I would've deserved it. I didn't even think when I wrote that.
So would anyone like to hear the random questions I get from the APUSH kids as I talk them down the night before the test.
@The Fan's Attic: i don't comment on my panties being moist or wet, so it solves that conundrum.
Moist is a good word for a romance novel.
...Carlos looked up longingly at Sylvia, his facial hair coated with a moist....,.
@Laser Guided: I had a roommate in college who couldn't stand "moist" or "nostril." I still don't get it.
@Fat-Fat: guys don't say "ooh... you're so moist." they just don't. and if they do, it's because th