Deadspin
The professional snoopers at The Smoking Gun have uncovered their latest oddball lawsuit between Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana and his ex-wife, Kim Moses, pertaining to the auction sale of some personal items from his college days including a photo I.D. and sappy love letters (one on a Ziggy card).
What's perhaps most troubling than this whole entire suit is the fact that Montana has the penmanship of a teenage girl. It's almost surprising to not see little smiley-faces inside the dotted i's.
Joe Montana Is Looking Good, Suing [With Leather]
Comments
$10 for his used jock strap
I prefer dotting my Is with hearts
Ah, Ziggy. Will you ever win?
that is the best receding hairline mohawk I have ever seen.
Shouldn't have parted the Red Sea, Joe.
I miss you a real lot? Joe must have growns up in the cuhntree
@Barry Lutz:
Mr. Burns'd
Is Joe angling for the starring role in the new MacGyver film?
Was it an actual Ziggy card, or was it one of Elaine Benes' cartoons from The New Yorker ?
Isn't that sweet? Here's another one The Smoking Gun found:
[contactsheet.org]
If you need me, I'll be in my room masturbating.
My Grandma always underlines words in cards like that.
My Grandma is also Boomer Esiason.
Man, that love note was intense. I'm surprised he didn't lighten the mood by referencing John Candy.
I'm going upstairs to masturbate.
threadjack
They finally named Wysh's NHL Blog on The Exclamation Point....
....Puck Daddy.
[sports.yahoo.com]
Whoever came up with the new name (probably Wysh) gets a huge +1.
/threadjack
"Oh, I see Ziggy's back at the complaint department. 'Joe Montana is stealing my ideas.'"
@BigRicks:
Nice.
That is one hell of a rambling letter he wrote to Mr. and Mrs. Moses. I bet they stopped reading it after the first paragraph like it was a Weintraub article.
His "aww shucks" writing is both endearing and nasueating.
@Camp Tiger Claw: Underlining takes time away from practicing. Guess that's what made Joe Joe, and what makes Boomer Boomer.
@Werewolf Barmitzvah: The pig says "My wife's a slut"?
That irreverence, that wit. I'd know it anywhere.
Quick, Elaine. To my archives!
/Peterman
@Camp Tiger Claw:
They teach you to underline in college.
Christ, Joe. Just shave that dome & get it over with already!
@UkraineNotWeak: Not the fuck scenes they don't.
@Camp Tiger Claw: My grandma does the same thing. I used to just read the underlined words aloud anytime she sent a card.
I think Joe was asking for anal that weekend? I wonder if she agreed.
If you aren't sending your love missives inside a Cathy greeting card, you ain't trying.
Was the Hallmark store out of "Love Is..." stationary?
he wrote a letter about doing anal?
John Elway got nearly the same result with a homemade card consisting of construction paper, dried macaroni, and glitter.
That was an interesting article. I think I'll go upstairs and masturbate now.
[i'm going ot go upstairs and masturbate now.]
@Hit Bull Win Steak: His writing style was a little tight at first but it eventually loosened up.
/ducks
I'll bet he thinks Ziggy's gotten too preachy lately, too!
@Phony Gwynn: Yeah, but Terrell Davis did all the actual work on that card. Elway just got all the glory.
@UkraineNotWeak: She agreed - it was his best shot in the end zone since Dwight Clark.
If my math is correct, he got married at 17? Jesus. He better have gotten the anal. 17?
@Arriaga_II: He looks like a hybrid of Richard Dean Anderson and Sting.
Holy Christ, when did Joe Montana turn into Zoolander?
@Werewolf Barmitzvah: I was thinking more of the 80s, when guys like Gerald Willhite and Sammy Winder were helping him with it.
A Ziggy card? I'm surprised she didn't tear it up, call him a homo and kick him in the balls. Ziggy? Come on.
His hair is doing it's best Gladiator/300 helmet impersonation
When did he get lobotomized?
what a coincidence...Charlie Weis sent his surgeons the same Ziggy card right before suing them.
Ned: "They teach you how to underline in college."
Reggie: "Not the fuck scenes, they don't."
@UkraineNotWeak: @Gus Johnson's Cardiologist: I apologize for my comment above, didn't know that you two beat me to it. Not really all that surprised, UkraineNotWeak ALWAYS beats me with the Slap Shot references.
@ReggieDunlop:
"You know what your problem is, Dunlop? You're too fucking old to play this game!"
-B. Donaldson
sting?
@Hit Bull Win Steak: sounds like someone's going to try and slip it in the butt this weekend
Reminds me of one of the funniest posts ever on KSK:
[kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com]
Maybe Im just old and slightly Bissed. But the combination of the background color and the microfont over at KSK makes me fucking squint. I don't find it relaxing to read. I'm always anxious to bail the fuck out over there.
Bissed- to take on old crotchety out of touch ways.
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