Okay, I've been to Amsterdam. I smoked some nice pot there. They try to get you to put all this tobacco in it, but whatevs, it's good. But nothing that would make me conceive, or even understand, the opening ceremonies of EURO 2008 yesterday. This Fanhouse-provided clip is like a Bjork/Michel Gondry rendition of South Park's Imagination Land gone horribly wrong.

Let's see, we've got Q*bert, the yodeling skier from The Price is Right, silhouettes of black and white dancers (a pithy commentary on interracial ballroom dancing, no doubt), the Ice Queen from the Chronicles of Narnia, a fierce-looking cow and finally a human-formed, color-changing bullseye at the end. What's wrong, meteor, can't take a hint?