After all of the confidential sources proclaimed last week that, yes, Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson may have possibly ended their shameless romantic relationship for the betterment of all mankind, it appears that there was a temporary reunion for the sake of Ashlee Simpson's shotgun wedding to the emo kid:

The Dallas Cowboys quarterback and the bride's sister may have put aside their personal issues — and let the entire focus fall on the newlyweds — but my source did say, ''I saw them over in a corner near the end of the night, having what looked like a very serious, intense conversation.'' Romo also supposedly ''looked a little uncomfortable'' when chatting with father-of-the-bride Joe Simpson (who performed the non-denominational marriage ceremony). According to various reports, Joe Simpson practically ''begged'' the former Eastern Illinois University gridiron star to attend the wedding, even though he and Jessica have allegedly split up — a story the actress and singer's reps firmly deny.

Unless these two die after getting trampled to death by a pack of wayward rhinos mid-coitus, this will be Deadspin's final acknowledgment of this ridiculous couple's existence. Rejoice appropriately with unreserved fits of profanity.

Ashlee, Pete In Wonderland [Chicago Sun-Times]

5:30 PM on Mon May 19 2008
By DAULERIO
8,246 views
52 comments

Comments

Barry Lutz at 05:33 PM on 05/19/08
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Ashlee Simpson is living proof that plastic face surgery can have non-ridiculous-looking results.
Jehovahs Witness... at 05:34 PM on 05/19/08
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KILL IT
MitchKayak at 05:34 PM on 05/19/08
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Joe was asking him to describe banging his daughter in graphic detail.
EditorOfTheDailyFaberian at 05:35 PM on 05/19/08
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Unless these two die after getting trampled to death by a pack of wayward rhinos mid-coitus

So, you're saying there's a chance?
ClueHeywood at 05:36 PM on 05/19/08
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Good to see Tony can drop things.
Jehovahs Witness... at 05:36 PM on 05/19/08
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Rejoice appropriately with unreserved fits of profanity.

Fucking cocksucking Romo and his douchetacular shitbag whorefriend can manually stimulate each other while fucking jumping off a goddamn cliff. Guzzle cum in hell you fucking fucktards.

/There
/Doug Llewellyn, Court Reporter
Matt Sussman at 05:37 PM on 05/19/08
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"trampled to death by a pack of wayward rhinos mid-coitus"

In three years we'll know if M. Night Shyamalan reads Deadspin.
She Blinded Me With... at 05:37 PM on 05/19/08
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...this will be Deadspin's final acknowledgment of this ridiculous couple's existence...

for at least another 2 weeks.
Weed Against Speed at 05:37 PM on 05/19/08
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@MitchKayak: It is possible Joe was describing banging his son-in-law in graphic detail.
dont-forget-where-you-... at 05:38 PM on 05/19/08
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Romo also supposedly ''looked a little uncomfortable'' when chatting with father-of-the-bride Joe Simpson

That tends to happen when the father keeps saying "she's got a great pair of tits, Tony, a great pair of tits."
starksgotejected at 05:38 PM on 05/19/08
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Now there's a tall drink of water.

No seriously, look at that glass of water Romo's got. It's really tall.
Weed Against Speed at 05:38 PM on 05/19/08
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@Suss--: In his version, the rhinos are an alien species from a society that sees dead people in pools.
Juancho at 05:38 PM on 05/19/08
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Who wore more makeup to the ceremony?

I hope Pimpa Smurf bought his tux, the orange spray-tan probably would've ruined a rental.
Chief Illiniwek at 05:40 PM on 05/19/08
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@She Blinded Me With Violence: Or until naked pictures are discovered.
Jews For Purple Jesus at 05:40 PM on 05/19/08
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And all this time I thought he wasn't going to go because he couldn't find a tux that would match the backwards Cowboys hat that is surgically attached to his head.
RonZookonRedBull at 05:42 PM on 05/19/08
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"Ashlee Simpson's shotgun wedding to the emo kid"

I thought Will was off watching the Cardinals this weekend?
amorphous at 05:42 PM on 05/19/08
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@Chief Illiniwek: Please, if there is a god in heaven, let them not be of Pete Wentz.

Wait, no, I didn't mean that. Really.
Weed Against Speed at 05:42 PM on 05/19/08
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Proactiv is the new Spanish Fly.
THE hoi polloi at 05:42 PM on 05/19/08
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Ashlee Simpson's shotgun wedding to the emo kid:

Will married Ashlee Simpson this weekend?
amorphous at 05:43 PM on 05/19/08
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@amorphous: Well, I managed to butcher that joke. Proofreading is advisable.
Matt_T at 05:43 PM on 05/19/08
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Thnks fr th mmrs Tony and Jess
Silky John-STON! at 05:44 PM on 05/19/08
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Dammit, I was rooting for a meteor to crash into the ceremony. Oh well, there's a season 4 premiere of the Hills cast party happening soon that I can resume rooting for the meteor to hit.
DaOtter at 05:47 PM on 05/19/08
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Romo's expression in that photo is just screaming "Dear God, if you have mercy, let me die right now..."
thefuseproject at 05:50 PM on 05/19/08
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Of the four people in that photo I'm shocked that Tony Romo is the one I'd LEAST wish a violent and painful death upon.

Also, Pete: you, your band, and the whole emo "scene" fuck off and die.

Dinner time!!
LeagueofShadows at 05:50 PM on 05/19/08
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No, Tony is thinking about how much action he's going to get, because he's the only one at the table with a penis.
thefuseproject at 05:51 PM on 05/19/08
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@LeagueofShadows: +1*

*unless, while having her nose done, Ashley had "other" surgery...which I'm guessing would make her new husband VERY happy.
amorphous at 05:55 PM on 05/19/08
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@LeagueofShadows: Hey, who is that chick in the gray hoodie and blue hat? Think I'd have a chance?
Dieter at 05:57 PM on 05/19/08
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@She Blinded Me With Violence: What a twist!
Le Légende de Vincent... at 06:01 PM on 05/19/08
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...Ashlee Simpson's shotgun wedding to the emo kid...

That would certainly explain where Daniel Briere was this weekend, but I thought he was already married?
SnuffyStirnweiss at 06:01 PM on 05/19/08
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Why do athletes from Southeastern WI always have shit eating grins on their faces?

[mlb.mlb.com]

[sports.espn.go.com]

[sports.espn.go.com]
RowdyRoddyPeeper at 06:04 PM on 05/19/08
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I'm done with these people until one of them takes up scientology
Sir Hotbod Handsomeface at 06:05 PM on 05/19/08
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Uhhh, I may be bucking the trend here, but what's so bad about them? (other than the media's obsession with their relationship - but what else is new?)
I wouldn't mind being in his shoes. And I can only assume girls wouldn't mind being on the arm of the Dallas QB.

...Cowboys fans and jinx-believers may not respond.
UkraineNotWeak at 06:06 PM on 05/19/08
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Won't someone think of the children.
Spors Gratia Sportis at 06:07 PM on 05/19/08
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Fuck it, I'm still rooting for the rhinos.
LeagueofShadows at 06:11 PM on 05/19/08
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@Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: He comes off(at least to me) like kind of a douche, and all the Simpsons are psychos...
Sherrill-Theory at 06:11 PM on 05/19/08
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@UkraineNotWeak: Clemens was there too?!?
CaseyDick-in-a-Box at 06:11 PM on 05/19/08
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This picture is worth nothing without tits.
mrlancers at 06:16 PM on 05/19/08
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@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: @dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: Joe Simpson: "Hey Tony! Have you ever motorboated those bad boys? They say more than a mouthful is a waste. Those people haven't been nearly suffocated to death by my daughter's bazungas."
kurt9988 at 06:39 PM on 05/19/08
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It seems Joe Simpson has a man crush on Tony Romo.
How do you spell retard? at 07:01 PM on 05/19/08
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I would bring a shotgun to that wedding.
Are Will and Ashlee registered at the... damn I'm too out of touch to think of an emo store.
Sir Hotbod Handsomeface at 07:09 PM on 05/19/08
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@How do you spell retard?: perhaps Hot Topic?
How do you spell retard? at 07:13 PM on 05/19/08
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@Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: Yeah, I thought so. Just tried to block out of my mind how I used to regularly go in there (weird goth kid < angry metalhead). Now I don't even look at the place when I walk past it.
$Image of josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris\'s sack-dance for you$ josereyes.theroof... at 07:57 PM on 05/19/08
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@Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: Torrid would work, too, if they were on the plus-size, but other than that, Hot Topic seems it.

Urban Outfitters seems emo-friendly, if not emo-approved, so no dice on that.
Human_Cannonball at 08:10 PM on 05/19/08
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A routine field goal snap he drops like a Britney Spears baby, but this good-looking piece of psycho he can't get rid of.
TheMitten at 09:38 PM on 05/19/08
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I see that Joe performed the ceremony. Did Dad also exercise his right of jus primae noctis?
IchiroSuzukiSamurai at 09:51 PM on 05/19/08
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@RowdyRoddyPeeper: Look at the expression on their faces and tell me they haven't.
RachelRayIsTheDevil at 09:56 PM on 05/19/08
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Tony's hands are folded neatly in his lap.....PUSSY !
NYSportscene at 10:10 PM on 05/19/08
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Ah, to live the life of the jock quarterback dating the head cheerleader. The envy of the entire senior class. Prom King and Queen. Mr. and Mrs. Popular.

Romo and Jess and prolonging the inevitable. The 'hot' always end up becoming the 'not,' just like you see at that 10 year reunion. There will come a day when Tony will lose his luster and end up second stringing some guy that is redshirting now. And Simpson will wish she could do more stupid pizza commercials.
NonSyringeProfessional at 10:31 PM on 05/19/08
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If Tony's done, I'd like to get some fries with that shake.
Sid_Luckman at 11:41 PM on 05/19/08
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@How do you spell retard?:

Gotta be American Apparel.
Sandburgh at 08:29 AM on 05/20/08
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Think of the political debates and in-depth topics discussed at that table on that night....
Perroneous at 12:17 PM on 05/20/08
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Based on that picture, I wonder who should really be wearing the pink Romo jersey. I fucking hate Tony "H" omo. See what I did there?