As is abundantly clear around here, we're hardly the biggest hockey experts, but we're still human, which means we really love the Stanley Cup Trophy. So rarely is any piece of hardware treated with such reverence; heck, in baseball, they try to hump the damn trophy.

Nope, not in hockey, where the Stanley Cup Trophy is wooed by Lil Jon and seduced by teenage sirens. You're not even supposed to touch the Trophy unless you've won one, and some players have even baptized their children in it.

And it has even been a featured soap opera actor:

Here's to the Stanley Cup: A trophy that actually means something. Unlike some trophies.

Send an email to Will Leitch, the author of this post, at will@deadspin.com.