Just Another Quiet Day In The AL East

His real name is Covelli Loyce Crisp, but you knew that. What you may not have known, is that Coco Crisp's father was a boxer, and his mother was a champion sprinter. So the Red Sox outfielder's actions on Thursday — charging the mound and throwing haymakers after getting plunked by the Rays' James Shields in the first inning — make perfect sense. As you can see in the video below, Shields really telegraphed that right hook, and left himself wide open for Coco's counter punch. That also appeared to miss, however. But that was only the beginning.

The first rule about Baseball Fight Club is that you don't throw any actual punches in Baseball Fight Club, but the Red Sox and Rays are not about the rules this season. In this, the battle for the very soul of the AL East, standard conduct apparently does not apply. I'll leave you to sort out the details of the fight itself, but here's what strikes me: Now we know that the Rays are legit. Who would have bothered to throw actual punches at them before? This ongoing retailiation stuff is what real baseball rivalries are all about, and up til now the Rays have not been allowed in that club. So welcome, Dioner Navarro and your Running Tackle of Doom. It's going to be a fun summer. Here's some tasty post-game reaction over at Sox & Dawgs.

Oh, and just to confirm that the Red Sox are challenging the Oakland Athletics of the early 1970s as the most dysfunctional baseball family of all time, they also brawled within their own dugout on Thursday. Manny Ramirez and Kevin Youkilis went at it for some reason, and had to be separated by teammates. Oh, and there was a game. Ramirez hit his 503rd homer and had five RBI as the Red Sox won, 7-1. Boston moved a game-and-a-half ahead of second-place Tampa in the division.

• The 400. I have yet to figure out why Chipper Jones is such a polarizing figure among fans; he doesn't seem any better or worse, as a person, that a lot of other players. But them I may be missing something. Jones hit his 400th career homer Thursday; one of four hits that raised his average to .418. The Braves beat the Marlins 7-5.

• Oh Snap. The time has come for a new blog: Walkoff Hit-By-Pitch, anyone? Scott Schoeneweis hit Paul McAnulty with the bases loaded in the ninth, giving San Diego a 2-1 win over the Mets.

• Wizard Cat Defensive Player Of The Day. Hanley Ramirez, Florida Marlins. The diving stop was great, but the shovel to second sells it. Double play. Wizard Cat gives this play: Four wands. But frankly it's hard to get excited about this, because we've just been informed that there is unauthorized Wizard Cat merchandise on the market! These cheap trinkets are in no way endorsed by Wizard Cat, who is considering legal action. Or perhaps he'll just find this person and crap in their mailbox.

With that bit of unpleasantness behind us, we give you the best of Wizard Cat's mailbag!

• Wizard Cat, I'm appalled at the lack of morality you have in supporting the anal fissure that is Kaz Matsui. I thought for sure you were a conservative. You've lost my support. — Russian Experiment

• Wizard Cat, Is there a Mrs. Wizard cat? Or do you just have a lineup of eager hooters waitresses at your disposal? — Laser Guided

• Wizard Cat: Would you be kind enough to explain what was going on in John From Cincinnati, episodes 1 through 10? Thanks. — Ed French

• Dear Wizard Cat, could you replace Chipper's tongue with his cock, so he could go blow himself? I would be in your debt, oh great one. And if it's not too much to ask, please send a pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at puppy? Thanks! — Philas

• The Wizard Cat Play of the Day should have been the streaker at the Sox game who ran from right field to the third base stands, evading 2 security guards and losing his wig in the process. He tried to leap into the stands and faceplanted 5 rows in front of me. — Chilltown

Contact Wizard Cat at Wizardcat@live.com

Contact information for this author is not available.

publish on Facebook

Upload an image | Add an image URL ×

Image URL: ×

Youtube URL: ×

Choose a file to upload:

×

Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

Loading comments ...

Earlier discussions | Other discussions | Show all discussions | Show featured discussions only | Expand all threads Collapse all threads
Start a new discussion