We're just more than a month away from the All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium — and hey, tickets are down to a totally reasonable $29,500! — and MLB is breaking out the big promotional guns. Check out these commemorative beauties.

Yeah, you too can have a Kansas City Royals Statue of Liberty figurine. Don't like that one? (How could you not?) Well, try the Houston Astros

Or the Florida Marlins.

Or the Atlanta Braves.

You can see them all right here. We never realized just how freaking ugly baseball team colors were. Poor Lady Liberty; they've turned her into a doll that you'd find in the toolshed of that disturbed kid from Toy Story.

What, Do You Hate America Or Something? [Siberian Baseball]

Send an email to Will Leitch, the author of this post, at will@deadspin.com.