In Case You Forgot Why Tiger Woods Got To Marry A Swedish Model

Like many humans and corporate executives before him, Tiger Woods began his round of golf on Saturday with a double bogey. But unlike everyone else, he finished the back nine with two eagles and a birdie. Only Dick Cheney sets himself up in a better position to shoot more types of bird on a weekend than Tiger Woods.

And throughout all the highs and lows of the day, Woods signed off on a round of one-under 70, which is also what Lee Westwood had yesterday. Rocco Mediate is the final man with an overall under-par round, and the names keep getting more obscure beyond that. Which means, given history, you already know what will happen on the final round. That's right! Sergio Garcia will shoot a 66 and win the U.S. Open by two shots.

It's probably worth mentioning that the 13th hole featured both Tiger's eephus-trajectory eagle putt and Phil Mickelson's quadruple bogey. While it may be the second-easiest hole in the U.S. Open, clearly it was designed with only right-handers in mind. That's profiling, and I won't stand for it.