Jeff Garcia Longs For Affection From Someone Other Than His Wife

In what could turn out to be an old man tussle of epic proportions not seen since Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau fought for the red-headed love of Ann-Margret, current Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Jeff Garcia has let it be known that he is not conceding to that graybeard fellow in Green Bay should he come to Florida.

“[I'm] going to choke it to death until somebody pulls my grip off of it," Garcia told the assembled beat writers at his first day of training camp. He sounds serious. " If (Favre) comes in, as much as the accolades are huge on that side, I’m the starting quarterback, and it’s going to be a battle."

You kind of feel bad for Garcia, who, barring a couple bad seasons here or there (and Detroit purgatory), has always produced at this level, but still has to prove himself every season. Not only is he looking for a new contract from Tampa Bay, Garcia is also battling about 24 other quarterbacks at camp this year in addition to the threat of a Favre arrival.

But he's undeterred. And he knows that Jon Gruden is an unabashed quarterback whore, so he deals. “He loves quarterbacks. But he likes to just date. He doesn’t like to marry, " Garcia said at the press conference.

Jeff Garcia: perennial bridesmaid.

"Choke It To Death" [Atop The Crow's Nest]