We have a new President. I suppose they'll go on with these convention thingees anyway, because the deposit on the arenas are non-refundable. But we know who's going to win. Minor league teams in six cities handed out bobbleheads of the two Presidential candidates during special promotions last week, with each fan choosing either a Barack Obama or John McCain model, each of which represented a Presidential vote. (In 2004, the same promotion predicted a narrow GW Bush victory). And when the dust had cleared on Monday, one candidate emerged with a clean sweep of all venues. So please nod your head comically and whistle Hail to the Chief for ...
Barak Barack Obama.
If presumptive presidential nominee Barack Obama wins the election in November, he will look back at the Goldklang Group’s “Bobblection 2008” as his springboard to the White House. Obama finished a clean sweep taking the Fort Myers vote on Monday night, to complete a six-city blanking of John McCain. Obama garnered 54.4% of the vote (500 bobbleheads), while McCain notched 45.6% of the vote (419 bobbleheads). The six cities represent the homes of Goldklang Group teams.The junior United States Senator from Illinois started strong at Hammond Stadium and never looked back. The first 10 voters marked their ballot for Obama. McCain tried to rally late, but came up short for the sixth straight day. Four years ago, George Bush defeated John Kerry 53% to 47% in Fort Myers. The tally was nearly identical to the final national percentages. Upon entering Hammond Stadium, fans were directed to actual Lee County Election voting machines to cast their vote. After voting electronically, the fan then picked up their bobblehead of choice. Obama was declared the winner when all 500 of his bobbleheads were gone. The breakdown: • Hudson Valley, NY (Renegades): 750 (51.3%) 713 (48.7%) • Brockton, MA (Rox): 500 (52.3%) 456 (47.7%) • Charleston, SC (RiverDogs): 500 (58.1%) 360 (41.9%) • St. Paul, MN (Saints): 1250 (58%) 906 (42%) • Sioux Falls, SD (Canaries): 500 (55.2%) 405 (44.8%) • Fort Myers, FL (Miracles): 500 (54.4%) 419 (45.6%) • TOTALS: 4,000 ( 55.1%) 3,259 ( 44.9%) As was inevitable, a Ron Paul bobblehead was found among the Sioux Falls results, and was asked to leave. Elsewhere in minor league promotions: • Salute To Jayson Stark. Thursday, Aug. 14, Lakewood BlueClaws (Class A South Atlantic League). The ESPN baseball writer will be on hand sign autographs, pose for pictures and assess your beer league softball team's roster for key weaknesses. Will not sign body parts. • Ty Cobb Night Friday, Aug. 15, Omaha Royals (Class AAA Pacific Coast League). As you no doubt are aware, this gala event will honor Royals communications intern Ty Cobb. Yes, that's his real name. Ty Cobb-mania is sweeping the Midwest as you can imagine, with Mr. Cobb on hand for this game to sign autographs, pose for pictures and nail you with exposed cleats when you're not prepared. [Thanks to Benjamin Hill] • Civil War Night Friday, Aug. 15, Portland Beavers (Class AAA Pacific Coast League). Supporters of bitter rivals Oregon and Oregon State will take part in several in-game competitions, including the mascot beat-down. • Asian Night. Wednesday, Aug. 20, West Virginia Power (Class a South Atlantic League). I have no idea what this is, but it's West Virginia, so you know it's going to be offensive. • Weird New Jersey Night. Aug. 24, Newark Bears (Independent Atlantic League). Redundancy evidently does not concern the fine people of this state.
• Mascot of the Week. Henry the Puffy Taco, San Antonio Missions (Class AA Texas League). I am ready to declare Henry the Puffy Taco as Mascot of the Season. Congratulations, Henry. In addition to being delicious, Henry thrills spectators with various dance moves, plus his signature routine; when he "runs" the bases and lets a small child catch up and tackle him on the third-base line. Sportswriters have called it the stupidest three minutes in sports. And don't forget Henry's sidekick, Ballapeno, a green chili pepper. Well done, sirs.
Contact Minor Enterprise at RickChand@GMail.com.