Shut your mouth, and know your role: It doesn't matter who you are, when serving Dan Le Batard food, you mind your place. "He asked if we needed anything or wanted anything and what I was supposed to say was, ‘yes I would love a photograph with you, Emeril.’ As if what the hell would I do with a photograph of Emeril Lagasse? What do I want a photograph with you for? Go get me my food....BITCH.” [On The DL]

That's no butterfly: What lies beneath the shirt of a Song Girl? Trust us—there's no way you guess this one correctly. [Busted Coverage]

How's the knee, Eldrick?: Tiger Woods is more powerful than Roger Goodell, or any other sports business person anywhere. Then why is he still doing those horrible razor commercials? [Dogs That Chase Cars]

We miss The Unknown Comic too: Bengals fans are taking their 0-5 start well. And they look terrific doing it! [Sporting News]

The sweetest dump there is: Finally, a look at the Brooks Marine Corps Marathon executive VIP crappers. [CNBC]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.