Phillies Threaten To Eliminate Dodgers; PETA Threatens To Eliminate Phillies

What they're saying out in the ether about the Phillies' 7-5 win over the Dodgers in Game 4 of the National League Championship Series ...

• Video: Shane Victorino And Matt Stairs. That may have been the most excited I've ever been watching a single swing of a baseball bat. If this Phillies team beats the Dodgers one more time and goes on to play for World Series glory, there's no question Shane Victorino could sit alongside the all time Philadelphia sports legends. But tonight, tonight belonged to Matt Stairs. His sixth hit as a member of the Philadelphia Phillies will surely earn him a free beer anytime he steps into a Philadelphia drinking establishment — not to mention immortality. [The 700 Level]

• Shane Victorino's Foul Favorite Food. Okay, hold the phone — during a recent Philadelphia Phillies/Los Angeles Dodgers playoff game, commentator Joe Buck mentioned that Phillies player Shane Victorino's favorite food is Spam musubi. A few reactions here — one: gross; I can think of a hundred different fillings I'd like for my onigiri, and canned meat ain't one of them. Two: Why? The Phillies' Citizens Bank Ballpark has been ranked the "Most Vegetarian Friendly Ballpark" two years in a row for its impressive vegetarian offerings, such as Philly faux-steak sandwiches, "crab-free crab cakes," mock-chicken sandwiches, and veggie dogs. We're giving Shane the benefit of the doubt here: He probably didn't know about the torments faced by the piglets destined to be slaughtered for Hormel and possibly end up as SPAM. But hey, knowledge is power, right? So PETA Assistant Director (and major sports fan) Dan Shannon has written him a letter giving some background info on Hormel and the way its suppliers and that Iowa farm treat pigs. We suspect that the cruelty in every can of SPAM will make Shane madder than a high Hiroki Kuroda fastball—and that a change in snack foods might be in order. [The PETA Files]

• Deciphering Simers. So notorious d-nozzle TJ Simers has thrown some written barbs towards Philadelphia and its fans. In response, Philadelphians have responded with "a bunch of angry e-mail." But should we really be mad at Simers? Shouldn't we take pity on the man? Consider that he has to write about sports in LA, a city that has second largest population in America but can't support a professional football team. Jacksonville has a football team for God's sake. So, why don't we take a closer look at some of Simers quotes and what he's really saying. I think you'll find he's just crying out for help. [We Should Be GM's]

• What Was That Look In Broxton's Eyes?. We can look at the Cub sweep and talk big about our chances but it is a false hope. The only thing left to do is wait for the inevitable celebration of the Phillies National League Championship. We can win game five and the only thing it will mean is that the Phillies will have to celebrate on home court. Thank you Paul Depodesta for not only giving away a a cheap centerfielder for the last three years but now we had to watch him kick our ass in the playoffs. I'm not sure where he rates on the Depo oops meter but it ranks right up there. [True Blue LA]

• Stairs-Way To Heaven. People who follow baseball know Matt Stairs. Though I’m not sure anyone besides Blue Jays fans even knew he was still in the league four years ago. But he’s been in the majors since 1992. Let’s put that in perspective: That was the year Boris Yeltsin said he would stop targeting U.S. cities with nuclear weapons. The Redskins and Mark Rypien beat the Bills in Super Bowl XXVI. George H.W. Bush lost his bid for a second term to Bill Clinton. The English Premier League officially started. Sir Mix-A-Lot gave us his lovely ballad on large assed women with “Baby Got Back.” EuroDisney opened in Paris. Rodney King became a household name. Jay Leno took over for Johnny Carson on “The Tonight Show.” Amy Fisher shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco. Dan Quayle “corrected” a young student during a spelling bee on the spelling of “potato.” [Rumors And Rants]

• Matt Stairs! The Dodgers were alluding that because of Citizen Bank Park's dimensions, some of the Phillies home runs there may have been cheap. Well, as we all know, the Dodgers weren't able to take advantage of those same dimensions. But now, you have to ask Russell Martin, was Stairs home run cheap? [Balls, Sticks And Stuff]

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