• "My name is Kobe Bryant, Millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht." Greek hoops outfit Olympiacos is reportedly prepared to offer Mamba $83 million dollars over three years, plus an all-inclusive villa and a private boat. They will also consider hiring another basketball player to play the second half of games for him. [SbB]

• Who's House?: Fred Smoot gives a tour of his crib. Believe it or not? Two solariums! [DC Sports Blog]

• That's all?: "Christ runs for 232 yards in victory." Of course, it's a Catholic School. [Lion in Oil]

• Some losses are harder than others: Take heart, Redskins fans. Things could be worse.
[Busted Coverage]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.