So Rick Telander Meets Jay Mariotti Sweaty and Nude...

The long-standing feud between former Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti and current CST columnist Rick Telander has been well-publicized and generated notoriety given its potential for violence. Once Jay quit, the yelps of joy from inside the Sun-Times' newsroom could pretty much be heard ( or read, rather) around the world and Telander admitted he, too, was ding-donging after Mariotti's departure. But what would transpire between these two bitter rivals in the aftermath should they run into each other somewhere in a non-work environment? You know, like, in a sauna. This is not slash fiction:

“I was taking a sauna, which I do like once every ten years, and who walks in but Jay Mariotti. I swear to God. If God is my savior, if he is (he probably doesn’t want to save me, but) there he was. He almost freaked out. There were other people in the sauna. I probably shouldn’t even go on about this, but it was an hour ago. It was one hour ago, and he just started babbling. I don’t think it’s fair for me...I’m telling you so much...it’s just surreal. I think if my eyes don’t deceive me, if he’d seen the Yeti or...Michael Myers sitting there, I don’t know, it would have been about the same. But you’d have to ask him that. The first thing out of his mouth, ‘well, let’s just bury the hatchet.’ I had not said a word. Hatchets or anything – I didn’t have a hatchet in hand. Nothing.”

Telander didn't go on to say if this chance encounter resulted in an "Eastern Promises"-style throw-down or if the metaphorical hatchet was buried, but the surreality of this scenario even taking place trumps all possible outcomes. Well, maybe not the nude knife-fight one but still... Rick Telander [On The DL]