The New Tuck Rule: Does this look like a $7,500 tackle to you? Brooks Bollinger should at least get a gratuity. [Cecilio Guante]

Spend it like Beckham: Oooh, celebrity auctions are so much fun! Especially when everything is so expensive you have to be a celebrity to buy them. [In Game Now]

Next time, it's your finger: Carmelo Anthony loses a bet, loses his hair. Maybe if George Karl had threatened this last year, the Nuggets could have got out of the first round. [Not Qualified]

Even Pete Wentz isn't that bad: I don't really think Joe Biden has anything to do with the Cowboys not missing the playoff. They're screwing things up pretty good on their own. [Sports Crackle Pop]

Draft Combine: Giants fullback Madison Hedgecock likes to spend his off days farming other people's land for fun. Someone is really not getting enough carries. [NJ.com]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.