Will The Real Shaq Twitter Feed Please Stand Up?

This story involves technology and is written by an old person, so try to bear with me as I attempt to follow along. A few weeks ago, someone started using Twitter under the name Shaquille O'Neal. Everyone was all in a tizzy, until it was revealed that the person behind it was not really O'Neal. Fine. But now reports say that Shaq was so upset over the whole ordeal that he has started his own authentic Twitter, under the name The_Real_Shaq. So why should we believe this one? Let's go to the tale of the Tweets and see what we find.

There have only been about two dozen so far, of various lengths and entertainment value. For starters, Shaq either doesn't understand or doesn't respect the 140 character limit, because several of his messages end up producing disjointed out-of-order rants. He has two messages about Pete Newell, one that's just a picture of himself and another about Oprah. That sounds about right so far. Here are some of our favorites.

This is the second message, and is just seems like a shameless plug that the real Shaq would not stoop to. Or maybe he would....

Wanna see shaq uncut go to shaqtube.tv and just check out some of the funniest shaq videos and bloopers ever to hit the internet. ... ... 3:19 AM yesterday from txt

This should set everything straight ... I guess?

It said on the scrolling ticker tape jammy shaq would like to return to the lakers when his contract is up. Thats not true, this is the real shaq. If ... about 21 hours ago from txt

This one is just baffling....

I just texted gary payton, one of the greatest point guards ever

Now imagine receiving this series of texts, in this order....

Good morning everyone. Let me give you all a hint on how to relate to me, Shaquille O'neal I have a sense of humor I am very quotatious I am super intell ... 9:47 AM yesterday from txt

igent ( but i hide it, dont want anyone to kno i'm a geek) lol And finally, i say things to make you earthlings think. For example, How For example, How many legs would ... 9:47 AM yesterday from txt

g its tail a leg doesn't make it a leg..... A ha got you 9:47 AM yesterday from txt

a sheep have if you called its tail a leg? A smarty arty would say 5 < but the super intelligent specimen, such as my self would say ... 09:47 AM November 18, 2008 from txt

Lol? Really? There's lots of other stuff about yoga and massages, but this one is the best so far and maybe hard to top.

On my way to practice, running late and i got stop by the cops, aaaaaaaggh about 3 hours ago from txt

Kazaam!

The REAL Shaq Is REALLY Twittering [Alana G]
THE_REAL_SHAQ [Twitter]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.

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