For Your Viewing Pleasure: How to Stuff a Wild Deadspin

• 3:00 — Movie: In the Valley of Elah [MAX] - Woman stands topless in front of you... "ma'am" could be taken as an insult.
• 3:30 — Golf: LG Skins Game, Back Nine [ABC] - After nine holes, Not Tiger is leading Not Tiger while Not Tiger has yet to earn a skin yet. If you're a betting reader, we'd take Not Tiger for the back nine. Or, you know, a nap. We'd take a nap.
• 4:00 — Nonsense: Holiday Celebration on Ice [NBC] - The conception is practically non-existent and you'll probably have to wait for decent execution until spring, but at least it's not the Skins Game.
• 4:15 — Movie: Pajama Party [TCM] - Tommy Kirk plays a Martian that has problems adjusting to normal society. How do we put this... "Martian" is a euphemism. Like if Todd Haynes directed a beach movie. Yes.