• Red Grange weeps: Tim Tebow is the greatest college player of all time? How quickly we forget ... (And I still say there are at least a dozen guys better than both of them.) [The Big Lead]

• Spitting on an umpire costs extra: The Fort Worth Cats are selling their managerial gig on eBay. If only the Brewers had thought of that. [Beckett Blog]

• Or apple polishers: Should Derrick Rose be on the All-Star team? I'm not sure if they need someone with sweet knife skills. [Mouthpiece Sports]

• Lightning quick: Len Barrie responds to Barry Melrose and insists that he always knows how to keep his business side and his party side separate. [FaceOff]

• Focus!: A cameraman at an Illinois club team hockey game captures a rarely seen goalie fight, as well as most of his friends in the crowd. Who directed this masterpiece? [Daily Illini]

Wait was that ...?

It's Alternative Universe Will Leitch, who never left Illinios to pursue his crazy dreams and instead became a doctoral student in electrical engineering at Champaign-Urbana.

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.