Do you think you can handle a hockey post that is not about loose women or facial sutures? Well, get ready for the awesomeness on ice that is the San Jose Sharks.

While everyone is busy drooling over the near perfect records of the Celtics and Lakers, the Sharks are eating up the Western Conference like it's a tiny, screaming Robert Shaw. They are 25-3-3 and have more points at this stage of the season—53 through 31 games—than any team in NHL history. They actually made headlines by losing last night, in overtime, but that just sets the stage for their monster matchup in Detroit against the defending champion Red Wings this evening.

It's as big as a regular season game can get in this day and age and you can watch the action on ... let me see ... oh, right ... nowhere. If you live in one of those markets or have some fancy futuristic satellite device, you can probably find it on the TV tonight, but the rest of us will sit still hoping someone loses an eye* so that game clips will end up on YouTube.

San Jose (25-3-3) at Detroit (20-6-4) [Yahoo]
[Open Thread] Sharks Gameday: Detroit. [Fear The Fin]
Twenty-five stunning numbers from the San Jose juggernaut [Puck Daddy]
Another Hot Goalie Adds a Loss to San Jose's Record [SJ Sharks Blog]
Roundtable for Sharks-Detroit Thursday night game, interview with Sharkspage [SharksPage]

*I really hope no one loses an eye now.

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.