Emmitt speaks (we think), Adam Dunn doesn't sign, the Thunder gets the nickelodeon treatment (doo doo doo doo doo doo DOO doo), and the Stars give up on selling the on-ice product.
• So what we're saying here is that putting bikini'd women on the front page of your site is something you should leave to the pros, Dallas Stars. Even Penthouse would require 12 column inches in the letters section to work from a hockey game to bikinis on the beach. [FanIQ]
• Much like the great American satirists (Mark Twain, Will Rogers, Yogi Berra), it doesn't matter if Emmitt Smith actually said these things (though he likely did); it's absolutely believable that he stuttered every word. [Black Sports Online]
• Roger Clemens' name is ripped off a sports medicine institute; the owners claim it's to "... promote the broad range of sports medicine services and programs offered by Memorial Hermann across the greater Houston area." So it's not just Bud that's worried Clemens' name is too closely associated with baseball. [Steroid Nation]
• Would it help if Adam Dunn crapped a baseball? Would that make him gritty and/or gutty enough to finally let him help your team win a World Series? [I'm Writing Sports]
• ESPN isn't exactly taking the Oklahoma City Thunder seriously. Could it be the name? [Bend It Like Bennett]