An email came into Deaspin HQ in the wee hours of the evening last night, promising the elusive up-close-and-personal access with some of the SI Swimsuit hussies in celebration of the new issue.

Observe:

This is incredibly last minute, but SoBe Lifewater is sponsoring the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit party in NYC THIS Wednesday night and party in Vegas on Thursday. We'd love to have you attend both and you could even be on the same flight to Vegas as the models. Basically SoBe would give you the access, pick up the tab, but you could write anything you want. Figured it's the ultimate male fantasy so would be cool to have Dead Spin reporting on the inside access.

Kinda creepy/interesting, right? That seemed like an assignment people would be willing to cover even on a limited (read: zilcho) budget. In fact, there were volunteers. This young lady and this big idiot were both ready and willing to hop on a plane and cavort with the SI swimsuit models as deputized representatives of the mighty Deadspin. Alas, it was canceled. They did offer to send us some free product for getting our hopes up.

So, the consolation prize is a shitload of fruit drinks? That just seems so thoughtless and cruel. Puck you, Lizard.

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