Brother, Can You Spare A Dime...For Johnny Damon Or Xavier Nady?S

So, you hear about that Stanford guy (no, not that one) who stole all the money that Bernie Madoff missed? Well, Johnny Damon and Xavier Nady's assets have been frozen while the Feds investigate.

It's not often that Deadspin links to Talking Points Memo, so let's make the most of it. As someone who has no money, I don't understand any of this "investment" stuff that all the Richie Riches seem to like, but the gist is that New York Yankees outfielder Johnny Damon's investment strategy is as weak as his arm...HEY-O! Actually, that's not fair. It appears that neither Nady nor Damon actually had any money invested with Stanford and the freeze on both players' credit cards is temporary, but any story that features Johnny Damon saying, "I can't pay my bills" is all fun and games to me. Let's see what Scott Boras has to say, because he's always honest and forthright.

'The broker dealers the players have chosen have advised our personal management auditors the players are not in jeopardy of losing money,' Boras said. 'I understand government agencies are trying to protect the investor. Hopefully, the agencies will distinguish between those investors who are actually invested in Stanford products from investors whose broker dealers used Stanford as a clearing house and are not affected by the potential claims levied by the government. I trust government agencies will take quick steps to narrow the affected investor class and restore account access to all others.'

Oh, the horrors. Won't someone please think of the investor class?

Assets of Yankees' Damon, Nady frozen in Stanford fallout [TPM]