• Nice socks: The new Women's Professional Soccer League shows off their disappointingly tasteful uniforms. And what will Brandi Chastain be wearing? [The Beautiful Game]

• Crikey: How did Omar Vizquel develop those soft Gold Glove wearing hands? Hunting anacondas in Venezuela, apparently. [The Big Picture]

• Unpossible: Wait a second ... a hockey team in Phoenix is having trouble making money? Good thing my new air conditioning business in Anchorage will never have that problem. [Online Sports Guys]

• You call that a negotiation?: Scott Boras: A bad agent ... or the worst agent? [IWS Sports Blog]

• I'm new at this: Is hating on Pittsburgh the new hating on Boston? Why don't you ask your sister, who probably made out with Terry Bradshaw behind a mill or something? [Stet Sports Blog]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.