Señor Jose Bettis' Old Fashioned Fire JuiceS

It comes in smooth and chunky: Jerome Bettis now has his own premium tequila. It's the perfect shot for drunk driving school bus drivers. [PSAMP]

Nice swing, Nancy: Today is the birthday of the batting tee—helping uncoordinated kids feel special for over six decades. [Star-Tribune]

It's cute, isn't it?: Orlando fans desperately cling to the belief that their team will rise above the Eastern darlings and reach the NBA Finals. It is hard to argue with pictures of Dwight Howard in a tuxedo. [Moderately Cerebral Bias]

I kinda like him when he's angry: Do not question Ron Wilson's integrity. You may question his ability to coach a professional hockey team, but you may not question his integrity. [Two-Line Pass]

The Big O and 16: Detroit Lions underwear. It's the perfect way to tell that special someone they are a complete loser. [I Dislike Your Favorite Team]