Is his stick on fire or is he using a loom?: Alex Ovechkin is bringing soccer-style goal celebrations to the NHL? Because soccer is what Americans fans really crave. [Capitals Outsider]

Twhat?: I don't know why we were looking to the news media for updates on Jim Calhoun's health, when we could have just checked Charlie Villanueva's Twitter. [SbB]

Shooter?: An Indiana high school basketball coach gets arrested for a DUI, so the cops gave him a ride to the game. Hey, a police escort is still a police escort. [The Slanch Report]

Could have been worse: At least he didn't shoot up a brothel. [The Spoiler]

Next week, the hat trick: When you think about it, it really isn't that difficult to score on your own goal twice in one game. It's a great move, actually, because the goalie never expects it! [Total Pro Sports]