Lance Armstrong Out Of Commission, Twitter Still Functional

Sadly, no definitive pictures or video have yet emerged of the crash that claimed Lance Armstrong's celebrated collarbone, but as predicted, his Twitter account is on the case with the necessary updates.

Armstrong got caught up in a scrum about 12.5 miles from the finish of the first stage of the "Vuelta of Castilla and Leon" near Baltanas, Spain, yesterday. As the road narrowed, a couple of cyclists in the lead pack crashed, taking Armstrong down with them, breaking his right collarbone and possibly aborting his cycling comeback before it ever really got started. (And the same week Matt Lauer hits a deer on his bike? Spooky.) But why am I telling you this, when 140 characters could do the job just as well?

I'm alive! Broken clavicle (right). Hurts like hell for now. Surgery in a couple of days. Thanks for all the well wishes. about 17 hours ago from TwitterBerry

He will return to the United States for surgery, because he's obviously not going to let socialist European doctors cut him up. Lance's next scheduled race was the Giro d'Italia in May, before attempting the Tour de France in July and it's unclear whether he'll be ready in time for either one. Do you even need collarbones to ride a bike? Even if you don't, will someone remind him that he's rich and famous and doesn't need to put his body through this anymore? As he noted himself—he did eventually release an actual written statement (written by a publicist, I mean)—it's pretty remarkable that he hasn't been hurt this badly before, since accidents like this are pretty common. So why not just continue his Tour de Socialites and take it easy for awhile?

Btw, hard to tweet left handed. about 6 hours ago from Tweetie

You said it, brother. I think.

Lance Armstrong breaks collarbone in crash [AP]
Armstrong to be fit for Tour de France [AFP]
Giro out, Tour in doubt as Armstrong crashes [The Australian]