• Wait, he was supposed to do that? The former wideout is somehow a jiu-jitsu master? What's the name of the jiu-jitsu move where you punch a teammate in the back of the head? [D.C.SportsBog]

• Who's the wise guy now?: A soccer linesman in Romania packs a gun in his shorts to protect himself from fans. The sad thing is, he actually needed it. [The Spoiler]

• Zip guns: The Akron Zips are your 2009 Division I air rifle champions. I assume they will pop something in your ass. [Cleveland Frowns]

• Glass Pixel: Wow, Atari Boxing really was a lifelike simulation. [Gadjunk]

• Wise: B.J. Mullens is going "pro." You sure about that? Maybe you want to sleep on it for a year? [WaitingForNextYear; College Sports Examiner]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.