Paul Davis Needs Some Millionaire Matchmaking

"Paul" is just your average pro basketball player looking to find true love in this cold cynical world, but where do you find that in a superficial town like L.A.? On a reality show, silly!

Former Michigan State star—and former Los Angeles Clipper; oops!—Paul Davis was a contestant on Bravo's ridiculous dating-for-rich-schmucks show, "Millionaire Matchmaker," last night. He's got the money, he's got the (sorta) fame, he's got the personality, but he just can't find the right girl who is the "total package." Wait, scratch that ... he doesn't have the personality.

After 10 seconds of talking to Davis, it's easy to see why he's a little lonely. It's never good a sign when your dating consultant begins with "You need to lower your expectations." Paul is a shy, oversized hulk of a man who mumbles constantly, so the matchmaker sets him up with a bubbly blonde former cheerleader named Kimmy. (I'm assuming she's a cheerleader. No other type of human could be that chirpy.) He opens their date by getting drunk in a bowling alley, then orders her to clean his apartment. I told you he was charming. Of course, Kimmy is just so damn happy to be here—seriously, nothing upsets this woman—that I'm starting to think the Matchmaker is on to something. She's just paired the most boring man on the planet—who just got cut by the Clippers—with an excitable pep squad dropout.

They're perfect for each other.

The Millionaire Matchmaker [Bravo]
Ex-Spartan Paul Davis looking for love [Detroit Free Press]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.

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