Cocaine, Bunny Rape And Lyndon LaRouche: A Children's Treasury Of Tall Tales From Pro Wrestling

Here's your reading material for tonight: "The Urban Legends of Professional Wrestling!" — all 460 of them. If you thought pro wrestling was a wholesome endeavor whose practitioners did not enjoy stuffing the Medellín Cartel up their nostrils, think again.

None of this is true (at least, I hope it isn't). Most of this is libelous. All of this is tossed-off, accidentally brilliant Internet goof at its finest. A sampling:

26. Rip Rogers pulled Barry Windham's keys out of a commode filled with shit and Jack Daniels after a particularly hard night of partying with his bare hands.

55. Kevin Von Erich, once paid a hooker to break in a then 11 year old Chris von Erich. Supposedly, Chris even cried during the act.

60. Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissey describes seeing Andre screwing - "like a lion raping a rabbit".

122. Nino De La Calle was no gimmick. Pena found him at the age of 14 and let him be a wrestler in exchange for... well you guys can figure it out.

192. Brian Pillman was a definite racist.

454. Jake Roberts was prone to traveling with a big pink dildo in his gear bag for himself.

And my favorite, which blows your mind anew with each successive word:


448. William Regal hates the US but is forced to work here out of fears of prosecution in the UK; it seems he was a middleman in the whole Queen Elizabeth drug dealing thing Lyndon LaRouche exposed in the '80s.

You know, that whole deal.

The Urban Legends of Professional Wrestling!



That's all for today. Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin.