What do you get when you combine a 3,000-hit Hall Of Famer, apple pie, a bucket of Miller High Life, and a microphone? An epic anti-steroid rant from Wade Boggs. Stop cheating Americana, baby!

Boggs was at a sports bar autograph session meet-and-greet in the suburbs of Boston last night, when someone asked if he thought our latest generation of steroid freaks belonged in the Hall of Fame with him. Yeah, he doesn't think so.

"You're cheating the game, you're cheating yourself, you're cheating your family, you're cheating your friends, you're cheating your fans, and you're cheating Americana and apple pie, baby. Because if you can't do it at 60 feet, 6 inches, you shouldn't be playing the game."

When Wade Boggs turn into a professional wrestling manager? You're also cheating those poor helpless owners, like you're Zorro and they're ruthless Mexican land barons. Or something. Anyway, I'm not sure how much the bucket of tasty Miller longnecks that's sitting in front of Wade played into his demeanor that night, but here's another video from later in the evening that may give you some indication.

Nothing like a little karaoke of "Friends In Low Places" to round out a successful evening in Seekonk, Mass. By they way, he'll be doing another Miller promotion at the Lowell Spinners game on Saturday so bring your FlipCams.

Beer me, Wade [The Names Blog]
Wade Boggs Is Everywhere! [Barstool Sports]
[Video via SportsCenter. Don't bother going to DirtyWaterTV.com. They don't have it.]