Geovany Soto Likes That Weed

Pictured, Left to Right: Chicago Cubs catcher Geovany Soto and the sweet, sticky herb that he loves to burn and inhale into his lungs, an activity he somehow got caught doing around the time of the World Baseball Classic.

Three months after everyone stopped caring about the WBC, it can finally be revealed that the Puerto Rican backstop tested positive for marijuana, a drug that for some reason they actually test for. This will surely shake the foundation of international baseball tournaments, much as it will shake the faith of Cubs fans everywhere who think the universe is out to get them. Why Geovany Soto? Why?

"While I fully acknowledge my inappropriate behavior, I want to assure my fans and my family that this was an isolated incident," Soto said in a statement released by the Cubs during their game against the Tigers. "I do not say this to minimize or deflect from my conduct and I fully understand the ramifications of my actions. I have and will accept any and all consequences.

"I am fully dedicated to the game of baseball and my teammates, and I apologize for any distraction and embarrassment this may cause them.

Yes, I'm sure he will never do it again since he is the first baseball player in history that drugs have ever happened to. Soto has been banned from international competition for two years (oh no!), but will not be punished by Major League Baseball or the Cubs because even though weed is illegal, it doesn't make your arms bigger.

Geovany Soto tested positive for pot at WBC [Chicago Sun-Times]

Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.

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