Help William & Mary Find A New Mascot

William & Mary is as old school as old school gets, so naturally their sports teams are little traditional/racist. They need a new mascot and it's up to you to prevent (or ensure) that they become the Fightin' Asparagus.

For years, sports teams at W&M were known as the Indians, and later the Tribe, which is actually fair because the first iteration of the school was destroyed by angry Native Americans. A mere 400 years later, in a fit of poetic justice, the NCAA declared such nicknames to be wrong, so the school is taking suggestions for a new giant-headed foam costume to rally all the troops around. (The Tribe nickname will actually stay, but the feathered Indian logo has to go.)

The best suggestion so far: Asparagus, because when you cover it with cheese it matches the school colors. It also makes your pee smell funny, which should help the swimming and diving teams tremendously. Other, less interesting suggestions include: a beech tree, jester, Spartan (taken!), a sad bumble bee, and the mythical Phoenix. I guess a swishy, inbred monarch and his boring wife just don't inspire people anymore.

The deadline for submissions is tomorrow, which is also when athletic director Terry Driscoll will appear on First Take, presumably so Skip Bayless can yell at him about mascot enhancing headgear.

A Mascot for William & Mary [W&M]
William & Mary to change mascot…considering certain vegetable side dishes [Steady Burn]
Asparagus among nominations for William & Mary's new mascot [SI]