Announcements have been unkind to you lately. They're either telling you someone has died, or that you're gonna get banned from commenting. Well here's an announcement I hope you find a bit more welcome.
Starting today, yours truly will be posting here at Deadspin on a daily basis. But that's not all. You fucking sunts always come to Deadspin for sports-related dick jokes. Well now, your fair editor has asked me to help create a special Balls Deep section of the site that is exclusively dick jokey, without all the pesky sports getting in the way. Something along the lines of the first blog I ever published, FKS.
It's a chance for Deadspin to branch out a bit, to explore all new ways to use the word "cockpunch." And my hope is to begin a bunch of weekly series designed exclusively to help you waste time in the most enjoyable way possible: Weekend Playlists, Throwgasm Breakdowns, Snack Time Taste Tests, Television Event Gamebooks, and more.
As such, I am taking on the unofficial title of Editor of Culture. I like this job title because it means absolutely nothing, and it allows me the kind of artistic freedom I've always wanted despite the fact that I secretly have no idea what the fuck to do with it. We're making it up as we go along here, but I promise you I'll make sure the ride is always entertaining, and peppered with any number of unnecessary f-bombs.
The Deadcast will still be around each week for you to avoid, and I'll also be handling your team-by-team NFL previews in the coming weeks. I assure you they will be 100% devoid of gay childhood nostalgia. You have my word. In the meantime, if you have any questions or ideas, by all means email me here. Until then, sit back, relax, and welcome to Page Douche.