Thirty years ago today was the death of disco at Comiskey Park. A wacky promotion turned into Woodstock '79 as tens of thousands of rock and roll purists stormed the field.
Thousands of albums by the Bee Gees and ... well, the Bee Gees, were put into a bin and were carefully, thoughtfully, bombed into a cloud of vinyl confetti. The masses, not satisfied with the damage done, decided to dance the night away in the outfield.
Many say the embarrassing event, which led to the White Sox forfeiting the second game, helped truly end disco in America.
So here we are, in 2009. We had an entire decade of terrible new habits. Let's suppose — I know, this is already more thinking than normally requisitioned on a Sunday — we had the chance to destroy some terrible tangible objects that represented bad ideals. Here are some candidates and their rationales:
• Newspapers (the antithesis of innovation)
• Twilight novels (which would be the first book-burning event intelligent people would endorse)
• Axe body spray (although I think setting that abomination on fire would probably cause a biohazard)
• Taco Bell food (this one's convenient, because it's the food that explodes on its own)
Those are all fine choices, but if we really need to burn something to end the decade, let it be Crocs. It hasn't been a fantastic decade for many, but if society can collectively rise up and denounce horrible footwear, then perhaps it can give the rest of us hope for a better tomorrow.