Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
-Antoine Walker joins the NBA All-Star team of gambling deadbeats, alongside Charles Barkley, Alonzo Mourning and Michael Jor[REDACTED BY EDICT OF CZAR STERN] At least Walker tried to pay off his debts. Too bad the checks bounced.
-Pedro Martinez signs with the Phillies, anticlimactically ending his courtship. Also sure to be anticlimactic Pedro's return to the bigs.
-Meanwhile, Los Angeles has taken their offer to Lamar Odom off the table. Gamesmanship? Or, with the cap coming down, can the Lakers simply not afford to pay $9 mil to a fourth option who's running out of potential to live up to?
-MMA poster girl Gina Carano's ex says there's a sex tape. He also says he's "smashed a lot finer than that." Classy.
-Because no one believes that Prince Fielder is a vegetarian, here's a list of the 50 fattest MLB players of all time. Starting with Prince's daddy.