Do you know how bad the Mets are? The Mets are so bad that a team from Long Island is filming an instructional video to help, even if they play slow-pitch softball and they're sponsored by an assisted living company.
Typically, it would seem preposterous for the Bristal All-Stars to claim to understand the fundamentals of baseball better than one of the professional teams in town. Nothing about the Mets, though, is particularly typical. After all, who would you rather have catching a fly ball with a game on the line: Luis Castillo or Joe Friedman, 73, of Oceanside? That's what I thought.
The genesis of the geezers' idea was fairly serendipitous, as all the best ones are. Archimedes sat around in his bathtub and saved the mathematical world. The All-Stars whined about the Mets until — Eureka! — they decided to shoot a film to save Citi Field. They're regular Tom Emanskis.
First, I called the team's manager, 78-year-old Harry Schwarzkopf. I introduced myself and told him I cover the Mets for The Star-Ledger, to which he responded, "Oh. I feel sorry for you."
He then put me in touch with Howard Cannon, a spokesman for the assisted living company that sponsors the softball league. Cannon said the seniors got the idea after watching Luis Castillo's drop at Yankee Stadium last month.
"Like any other players, the guys were moaning and groaning about the lack of fundamentals," Cannon said. "They said we have to do something, and that's what we ended up doing. Guys wanted to tutor players."
Make sure you take notes, Johan Santana. Rumor has it Sal Frosina has a nasty arc on his pitch. And batters, beware: Grandpa's not afraid to throw over your head.