Giant Inflatable Penis Owner Explains Herself, Giant Inflatable Penis

Many will remember this year's American Century Championship for Tony Romo's valiant efforts and Rick Rhoden's continued dominance of the tournament, but the big, bright shining star of Saturday's action was a six-foot dong peeking over Michael Jordan's shoulder.

And the crew at Busted Coverage tracked down the owner of said dong, who was merely a wayward young woman at a bachelorette party. Here's her very enthusiastic, exclamation point-filled explanation she gave Busted Coverage. [Sic'd] obviously:

I was chased on the beach by a woman sherriff who told me to hand over the "inflatable penis", this was AFTER the bachelorette, Sam, rushed MJ on the green with the inflatable penis.

MJ was hysterically laughing.

We ran back to where we were standing and a male cop was coming over to talk to us so the bachelorette handed it over to me and everyone started yelling "RUN" so I ran over to where MJ was putting and started to jump up and down.

That was the shot that you got and was on tv.

I guess the network called the sheriff to get that inflatable penis!!.

I went back over to where the bachelorette was and they told me to run away again because I was really being pursued and out of no where a woman cop starts chasing me, so I run down to the water to throw it in the water,and at this moment everyone on the beach is watching and yelling at me to throw it in the water!

So I do!!

I am soooo not a rebel but I was under pressure and the cop was like" I could arrest you for that" and I said oh please dont!

so she tells me to grab it out of the water and deflate it…which I start to do, but I am taking my time..and just as I was about to open the hole to let the air out a friend runs up to us and takes it from me and jumps in the water and swims back to the boat. !!

That was HILARIOUS.. SO the cop and I and another girl are just standing there and I apologize to her and tell her how good she looks with a gun and we walk back to heckle tony romo. I am married and it was my future sister in law's bachelorette party.

Meanwhile back at the boat, where the rest of 24 girl bachelorette party was, harbor police comes up the to 5 boat barge and tells the girls that "they might as well have a sign that says stupid bachelorette party " and that we are all " stupid dumb girls" all becuz of the inflatable penis" and that people have been calling in and complaining.

HE THREATEND to breathalize the people on the boat if we didnt deflate it. SO the girls ont he boat had to deflate it and by that time we had to return the boats to the rental place. We were the talk of the town.!

So to recap: fun-loving ladies frolic on beach with large inflatable penis, "take a run at" the greatest basketball player ever with it, are chased by sheriff so try to ditch inflatable penis in the ocean, and are then ordered to deflate after threats of an on-site sobriety test by a Tahoe sheriff. Per the request of NBC, supposedly.

After all that, why do I get the feeling more inflatable penises will be infiltrating televised sporting events in the near future? This is only the beginning.

How An Inflatable Penis Crashed The American Century Tournament [Busted Coverage]

Send an email to A.J. Daulerio, the author of this post, at ajd@deadspin.com.

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