Reggie Bush Prepares For Training Camp By Losing Roughly 140 Lbs.

Good news today for all you ass fetishists (that is to say, men). Reggie Bush and saucy Armenian booty princess Kim Kardashian are officially busto.

Kardashian's rep told Us Magazine that the couple split up in a mutual decision.

"Nobody cheated," a source close to the couple says.

Cheated? I don't recall ever asking about someone cheating. What are you hiding, Kim? Apart from two giant scoops of coffee ice cream down the back of your dress? No word yet on whether or not Bush will retain any kind of visitation rights to Kardashian's army-engineered levee of lovin'. But he'll have more than enough time to ruminate over what went wrong as Pierre Thomas gets 25 carries a game this upcoming season.

I'm going to be honest here. I find Kardashian unreasonably appealing. And I find the fact that she's clearly a self-centered, utterly vacuous human being even more of a turn-on. If you're married like me, and a tramp like Kardashian shows up on the TV, your wife will invariably turn to you and say, "Oh my God! What a skank!" And you'll nod in agreement and feign a look of consternation. But the whole appeal of Kim Kardashian is her inherent skankiness. She's perfected uppity skankiness on a level I find rather impressive. Even if she does need Photoshop to take gravity away from all her photo stills. The fact that she got plowed on camera by Ray J and then leaked it publicly only ENHANCES the guilty pleasure of it all.

So wish these two kids good luck as they arrive at the mutual decision to go start banging the shit out of other people. I wonder if Kim is broken up about this whole thing. Let's check her Twitter feed.

Gym time! Whose coming with me? about 8 hours ago from web

Nope. That ass is now open for business.