Heck Of A Career, Jim, But Can You DH Tomorrow?

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

-Jim Rice's number retired at Fenway, which really should have been done without waiting for him to be elected to the HOF. But it's not the first time the Red Sox fielded a black guy only after the rest of MLB did.

-Michael Phelps loses a race! But because it's swimming, and it's not the Olympics, no one gives a shit.

-First team up in the Michael Vick sweepstakes? Your Baltimore Ravens. Second team up? No? No one?

-This is a little absurd. Mark Buehrle stayed perfect into the sixth inning, retiring an MLB-record 45 straight batters. He lost the game. Welcome to Chicago.

-Wang to have season-ending surgery. That means a temporary end to sophomoric headlines like "Wang to have season ending surgery."

-At least we still have sophomoric headlines like "Giant's Johnson has torn rotator cuff!"

-The Madden 10 soundtrack listing is in. Final score: Rock 18, hip-hop 7.